Heyo

logoutzero

Active member
Sep 30, 2020
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Central Texas
I remembered seeing a message come across my phone a while back, saying something about a move. I didn't have a running PC at the time, so I kept it in the back of my mind. Fast forward to now, with the kids being schooled at home, I have a PC and some very basic internet access. So, figured I would say hello, see who all was still around!

The past year or so has been, trying and difficult for me.

In November of '18, I broke my thumb at work, and it never healed. After a full 3 months of bouncing back and forth between several doctors and specialists, I was diagnosed with a fairly common type of cancer, benign for now. Little is known about it other than it doesn't respond to chemotherapy, radiation therapy, and excision has been reported as "activating" the benign cells, causing malignancy in most cases. From what I've read, researched, and discussed with various oncologists, the tumor will either stay as it is for the rest of my life, or get angry and spread. It doesn't seem to be known what causes the cancer to become active, or how to prevent it from doing so. All that I've been told, is if the cancer becomes malignant, it is universally fatal within about a year. Something about brains, livers, and hearts not functioning very well once they are made out of bone cells.

That news hit me pretty hard, so I took some time off work to just be with family and try to enjoy life for a while. I made this decision somewhere around February or March of '19. Decided to visit my parents over Spring Break, took the kids camping out on their property for a week, and during that little visit, I came to realize just how bad of shape my father was in. See, he had been working on building a retirement home for mom and himself for a couple of years, and when I could spare a day to travel to him, I would help out when and where I could. Something about that time during Spring Break, I realized that he wasn't really making the progress I thought he was, and that he needed some fulltime help. Fortunately, I had just decided to take leave from work for a few months, so, somewhat against logette's wishes, at the end of the school year, we moved out to my parents' property so that I could help my dad finish his house.

My father had a below the knee amputation, and a series of leads wired into his spinal column. He was really beat up badly from his time in the airborne infantry and later special forces of the US Army. Over the next month or two, I helped him frame up the remainder of the roughly 1000 square foot home my mother had designed, and wire, plumb, insulate, and sheetrock. Most days he was barely able to sit up and watch me, provide emotional support, but on his good days he would get up and help when I would allow him. In this time, I was able to get their master bedroom 99% complete, and a useable bathroom. Then, in July, while logette was on a trip for her birthday, my father passed away without warning.

Depending on who's still around, some of you might know that I have some medical training. I worked him for just over 7 minutes while I called for emergency services. I resuscitated him once, but whatever happened had already run its course, the damage was done. EMT's arrived on scene, and it was over, he was pronounced dead within 15 minutes of their arrival. For any of you who have had to bury a parent, you have a special place in my heart. My father is not the first person to die in my arms, but being a parent certainly stings. It's been a bit over a year, and I can tell you, it doesn't get better. Easier, perhaps, but I still wake up in the middle of the night to his voice screaming out to me to help him.

Things over the next several months just sort of chugged along. After nearly 5 years of asking logette to go back to work, she had gotten a job managing a sandwich shop. She was out of the home for over 90 hours per week, and the 1 day a week she had off, she was either too exhausted to get out of bed, or was constantly on the phone with employees too dumb to bake bread, and would have to run in "just for an hour" which usually turned into 6 or 8 anyway. I had gone back to work the week my father passed away, and we played this game of not seeing one another for months. I started to have suspicions when I noticed, even though she was gone over 90 hours every week without fail, she was only bringing in 50-60 hour paychecks, so we sat down and talked about how she was being taken advantage of, and wasn't being paid enough to be out of the house as much as she was, especially if nearly half of that time wasn't even compensated. She agreed, and said she would fix it. She didn't. Fast forward to Christmas day, and we're discussing her affair, and deciding to divorce. Merry Christmas logout!

As a newly single parent of 3 children, Covid and the shutdown hit me hard. Fortunately, I was able to continue working through it as I worked in an "essential" field, but I was relying on taking my kids to work with me every day. This was fine, in fact 3 other people on my team of 5 were bringing their children daily too. This continued until well into the summer, until someone from the other crew got fired. I had to transfer to the other crew to pick up the slack while they found a replacement, and they never did. The new crew was not okay with the kids coming to work, but mom to the rescue! She's not working anymore anyway, so she can hang with the kids while I work. Things went on this way until about the time for school to start.

My niece has special needs, and I guess throughout all this pandemic mess, my sister and her husband have been unable to keep hold of a full-time nurse for her. So, mom to the rescue! She basically lets me know she has to take up the slack with her granddaughter, and I would need to figure out my situation on my own. Well, I figured it out. Quit working, live off savings for a few months, school the kids at home, and just try to survive until things get back to normal.

So that's where I am today. Bought a basic PC for the kids to school virtually on, cancer-but-not-cancerous-yet, buried dad, divorced wife, and coming back for a visit with my SPF family. Things aren't great, but I'm good. I started doing yoga in the mornings, have learned a lot of self control, both financially and emotionally. Things are getting better, but yeesh, I got close to being overwhelmed there for a while.

With my inheritance money, I bought a little piece (11.8 acres) of land a few miles down the road from my mom, and have decided I will stay here to keep an eye on her. So, me and the kids, living the country life. They see their mother once or twice a week, she has a studio apartment, and they go visit her on her day(s) off. They hate it. They would much prefer to stay with me, but I tell them that's not fair, and "mommy still loves you" and all that. I think they hate that they have no space at her place. It's her place, not their home.

I installed on my Windows 10 PC last night, and the game fired right up off my 1.00 discs without any hassle. I was excited. Made it to Upper Kurast on a "fishymancer" before deciding to take a break. Currently no GoMule or RWM or anything, playing straight outta the box. We'll see how long that lasts, probably until get my first decent drop that is related to some other build... :D

Anyway, TL;DR: Got sick, dad died, got divorced, here I am, how are you?
 
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Tears85

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Mar 23, 2020
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TL;DR for me.....good thing is being sick and being divorced leaves u with a lot of spare time which can be filled with gaming! :) I have a EX beyonce and I´m sick and therefore can´t work....so I know what I´m talking about! Hope u´ll have a nice start! :)

Sorry if I missed something! MB I´ll read more after soccer! Just wanted u to see the good sides of life!

€: So I read u´re fine with the cancer thing? (My English isn´t all that good) That´s a good thing man...also that your kids are with u!
 
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Maltatai

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Mar 17, 2020
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Hey logoutzero, welcome back and am very sorry to hear about all those bad things. What does the new home look like, is it among farmland? In the woods?
 

logoutzero

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Sep 30, 2020
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Central Texas
Hey logoutzero, welcome back and am very sorry to hear about all those bad things. What does the new home look like, is it among farmland? In the woods?

Scrubland, mostly. Very rocky ground, with very high clay content. Very thick with Juniper/Cedar trees, depending on what part of the world you're from.

Property.png

Edit: There is a LOT of ranching around this area. Sort of rolling hills/plains climate.
 
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Mar 19, 2020
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Wow, that sure is a ton of curveballs thrown your way all at once.

Glad to hear that things have somewhat stabilized for the time being, and condolences on the loss of your father as well as the other troubles. That looks like an awesome place for the kids, congrats! Hope to hear lots from your RL and D2 adventures, and that things continue to be on the upswing for you!

Welcome back! :)
 
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logoutzero

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Sep 30, 2020
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Central Texas
TL;DR for me.....good thing is being sick and being divorced leaves u with a lot of spare time which can be filled with gaming! :) I have a EX beyonce and I´m sick and therefore can´t work....so I know what I´m talking about! Hope u´ll have a nice start! :)

Sorry if I missed something! MB I´ll read more after soccer! Just wanted u to see the good sides of life!

€: So I read u´re fine with the cancer thing? (My English isn´t all that good) That´s a good thing man...also that your kids are with u!

I'm fine with it as far as, until it turns bad for an unknown reason, it won't get worse. The cancer will either do nothing but cause harmless growths in my bones, or cause every other cell in my body to think it needs to be bone. As far as cancers go, I think this one is pretty good. Either I have small tumors on my bones, or I die.

And yes, primary custody of the kids!
 

Tears85

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Mar 23, 2020
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Wish u the best of luck.... I´m not in risk of dying (or at least not that I´m aware) so there´s definitly a different scope (hope that´s the word) to it! Sadly I don´t know what else to say....I read "it´s not cancerous" figured that means "bösartig" and therefore figured you´re good! What I knew was even if cancer cancerous u still can survive, but in your sitution even that doesn´t apply! Ofc that doesn´t specify anything about your situation! Again best of luck!
 

Babyhell

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Mar 13, 2020
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That's a piece of life man...hopefully you'll get more heads than tails now, if I can sum it up like this...

Welcome in the move, congrats on your mancer - for now, if I got it right you'll be HC - so to speak..!
 

logoutzero

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Sep 30, 2020
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Central Texas
Wish u the best of luck.... I´m not in risk of dying (or at least not that I´m aware) so there´s definitly a different scope (hope that´s the word) to it! Sadly I don´t know what else to say....I read "it´s not cancerous" figured that means "bösartig" and therefore figured you´re good! What I knew was even if cancer cancerous u still can survive, but in your sitution even that doesn´t apply! Ofc that doesn´t specify anything about your situation! Again best of luck!

I don't know what that word means, but I think you've got the idea. "Cancer" just means, something not right. Like, a weed in the garden. "Cancer" can just be something that doesn't belong (benign) or something that attacks other things, or invasive (malignant). "Cancerous" implies invasive, or malignancy.

That's a piece of life man...hopefully you'll get more heads than tails now, if I can sum it up like this...

Welcome in the move, congrats on your mancer - for now, if I got it right you'll be HC - so to speak..!

Ha! I don't think I'm at risk of dying any time soon, but yes I do play HC! Great pun! :D
 
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Tears85

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"bösartig" means evil.....so AFAIK cancer can be of a "good" kind (=gutartig) [that´s translated word by word] or a bad/evil kind (="bösartig")! As I understand things yours is of a "good" kind so far, but might turn bad!
 
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Rush

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Mar 12, 2020
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Welcome back. You sound like you have had a pretty rough time :( Chin up!
 

NorthDakota

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Sep 8, 2020
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Hey there. Sorry for all the rough times my dude. Glad to see you here. Grab gomule already start the hoard XD
 

PhineasB

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Mar 14, 2020
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Welcome back, logo. That's a brutal stretch, but inspiring to hear your perspective looking back on it. Hang in there! And good luck with the return to D2
 

Friiser

Member
Apr 4, 2020
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Holy cow, that's a crazy bad string of negative events for you. Glad you are okay and hope that your body keeps your organs as is and not turn them to bone. I can only imagine how difficult home schooling kids while trying to hold a job is, good to hear that your mom is available to help. Nice to see you back in the SPF family!
 

maxicek

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Dec 24, 2019
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Wow logout, that is quite a time you have been through. Good to see you back here.
 

logoutzero

Active member
Sep 30, 2020
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Central Texas
Wow!

Some names I don't recognize, thanks for the warm thoughts and welcome.

Some names I do recognize, glad to see you! It's been a while, hope you all are well!
 

Luhkoh

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Mar 13, 2020
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Sounds absolutely awful. So sorry to hear it, but hang in there and welcome back.
 

zemaj

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Mar 17, 2020
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That's brutal bro... definitely good to hear you're making it through it though. I mean, pendumlum has to swing back too, right.

Ah D2... the panacea to our ills....
 

OldSoldier

Member
Aug 19, 2020
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Sorry to hear about your tribulations. That's a lot to process in just a couple of years. Please keep your chin up and hug those kids every day! I spent my lieutenant years at Fort Hood so I'm familiar with your type of land. Do you plan on doing much with it? Maybe have a few cows or goats to get a farm exemption?

We need another Texan playing in the Barbarian tournament... but you'll have to install 1.14 for that. Come on in, the water's fine!