The Cloning Machine Mark IV- Summer OT thread!

[Gorny1]

Dredd left out something important regarding the Z Clones.

1.When exposed to the light of the moon, "moon letters"(1*) appear on their foreheads. They become even more chaotic at this time
2.They like the dark, and do not like bright light, especially sunlight - that will kill them.
3.Never, ever feed them after midnight. They will metamorphose into something even more evil. They will try to trick you into feeding them after midnight.
4.Don't ever get them wet. Something bad may happen
5.Do not let them see Anime after 7PM, the result will be bad ...like crossing the streams bad.
6.Be careful if they start playing with makeup ...that's the sign that they will be on the hunt soon.
6.If you hear them chanting about "The Gate" ... run like a bat out of hell.
6.Did I mention they are evil?


(1*) Reference to The Hobbit.

 

[krischan]

Not everybody knows it, but Z clones have a critical mass, just like Uranium 235. Too many of them close together and they will blow up... not as impressive as a nuke, but still leaving a big mess with all the gore on the walls.

 

[Gorny1]

Not everybody knows it, buz Z clones have a critical mass, just like Uranium 235. Too many of them close together and they will blow up... not as impressive as a nuke, but still leaving a big mess with all the gore on the walls.

and if you are in close proximity to those clones when they go, the gore will spatter all over you and drip from your nose.

I hear the German Z clone versions are a bit more touchy.

 

[superdave]

and if you are in close proximity to those clones when they go, the gore will spatter all over you and drip from your nose.

I hear the German Z clone versions are a bit more touchy.

how can you tell? they seem the same as the regular canadian version except they are drinking all of my beer.

 

[Gorny1]

how can you tell? they seem the same as the regular canadian version except they are drinking all of my beer.

Wait until the sun sets.

 

[krischan]

The beer production here in Germany can easily compensate the losses from German Z clones. We have a lot of beer in bottles here instead of cans. The Z clones have learned to open cans and operate beer taps, but they can't use a bottle opener - yet.

 

[Dredd]

Whatever they can't use, they break, kris ... typically over someone's head ...

Who drinks canned beer anyway? Whoever does must not have any taste buds. Ick.

 

[Gorny1]

Whatever they can't use, they break, kris ... typically over someone's head ...

Who drinks canned beer anyway? Whoever does must not have any taste buds. Ick.

\Seconded.

Canned beer= Teh suck.

 

[krischan]

I'm happy that we have canned beer. It keeps the Z clones off the bottles. The bottled beer is for me... errr, for us.

 

[Cannon Fodder1]

[highlight]Appendix A[/highlight]

1. Under no circumstances purchase a fish tank or similar apparatus for your ZClone. Any mention of the word mermaid, for any reason up to and including The Little Mermaid happening to be on tv by chance, should cause you to immediately search out the Sahara Desert and pray it lives up to its name.

2. Unicorns should be kept far away from your ZClone. Once they have tasted the sweet sweet Unicorn flesh their bloodlust becomes unquenchable. After sufficient deprivation from further Unicorns (approx. 6 hours) they have been known to seek out human flesh as the closest alternative.


Edit:

3. Burn all of your pillows. Don't ask, just do it.

 

[Gorny1]

[highlight]Appendix B[/highlight]

1. Remove any and all rainbows and all shiny things from any rooms that the Z clones will be kept in. The sight of any rainbow up to and even including the cartoon Rainbowbrite being on TV will induce a bout of severe man flesh craving in the Z clones. Thier taste for man flesh will increase 50 fold for 24-36 hours. Any sort of rainbow like light reflected from a prism will, upon striking the eyes of a Z clone will throw them into a man flesh feeding frenzy for 1-4 weeks.

2. Butterflies should be kept out of the reach of any Z clones. Butterfly flesh causes them to run rabid for a random amount of time, during this time they will eat anything

Edit: 3. Burn all of your sheets and get a waterbed.

Don't ask, just do it.

 

[krischan]

That's brilliant.

BTW, did anybody notice that Z stopped posting ?

Come on Z, Gorny got cloned, Dredd got cloned, I got cloned and now it was your turn to be cloned. OK, this seems to be a little persistent. Make a joke at your own expense and it will be over soon. I cannot guarantee for that, however - duperdave stopped posting as well and I suspect he's either looking for cruel Z clone jokes, even more cruel jokes about Germans or a new avatar with a more sexy swimsuit.

 

[Cannon Fodder1]

Perhaps she's just asleep.

 

[superdave]

guys...i have a great idea...it's one of those ideas you get and you look up expecting to see a little lightbulb above your head, it's that brilliant. :jig:

two words...

CLONE WRESTLING​

i could sell tickets!!

 

[superdave]

- duperdave stopped posting as well and I suspect he's either looking for cruel Z clone jokes, even more cruel jokes about Germans or a new avatar with a more sexy swimsuit.

all of the above actually. :wink3:

 

[Dredd]

They're like everybody else, krischan - when the Green Team storms a thread, they scatter to the four winds and hide in the other OT threads, where they think ... heh... heh... heh ... that we aren't watching.

That, of course, is all part of The Plan. (I hope you haven't forgotten The Plan, kris.) :evil:

@ SD: I'd pay good cash to see DOCV2 versus NotGorny - No DQ/Falls count anywhere/Ironman match. *cough*canispecialreftheladiesbattleroyal?*cough* *ah*it'spurelyforscience*choo*.

Sniff ... damn dust.

 

[superdave]

@ dredd...you sure can.

i feel like a complete tool...i just went on a coke run to the shoppers drug mart...there was a woman there pushing a cart back to the little cart corral thing...i got a little closer to her and i saw from her clothes that she worked for the store...from the back she didn't look that good so i wasn't really paying that much attention to her...just as i passed her she asked if i needed a cart...she was going to give me the cart she was pushing...i looked up at her face :yikes: she has to be the ugliest woman i have seen in a very long time...she was so hideous that i actually cringed a little...i know from the look on her face that i said the words out loud that i was thinking..."damn, you are fugly!!!" usually the filter on my brain that locks my teeth shut when thoughts like that fire off my synapses works perfectly...this time it didn't...my brain is defective...in my defense she was truely grotesque...not elephant man grotesque but she was rodney dangerfield grotesque....i still hate myself. :embarassed:

 

[Evrae Altana]

Damn...that's mean. Did you at least apologize to the poor fugly lady?

 

[superdave]

Damn...that's mean. Did you at least apologize to the poor fugly lady?

no, but i did take the cart.

 

[Xenon[XoA]]

and u think IM mean... at least wait for a minor reason of deserverance. thats so a word now. oH yeh. Zclones must not be offered beer in any form. b33r is slightly acceptable, but teh Captain's best will fuel them properly. I stopped posting b/c I was getting mentally pwned by this stupid riddle... meh, It's not stupid at all, its just freaking hard. Or easy, but photoshop and paint are not being very cooperative. I also had to weasel ppl into looking up the battle of Issus + ancient greek stuff to get me hints, i havent done this much 'studying' in years. it BURNS.