Re: The Noodle Compound
Fact: The United States is the only industrialized country in the world that doesn't use the metric system as its predominant system of weights and measures. Today only the USA, Liberia and Myanmar still use the old English Imperial system. The rest of the world is metric.
Here is a funny fight between Metric and Imperial System. And the winner is...
Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to determine the United States measurement challenge once and for all.
In the blue corner we have our current US champion for many years, weighing in at 220.4623 pounds, our hero: Igor Imperial.
In the red corner we have, weighing in at 100kg all the way from France, and currently storming the world wherever he goes, our challenger: Mean Mr Metric.
It will be a great fight today and one that may change the course of history. Can Mean Mr Metric defeat Igor Imperial and change US life forever, or will Igor outwit the classy opponent and maintain his place in history.
We are about to find out.
Gentlemen, I want a clean fight. Shake hands and come out fighting on the bell.
Round 1: "DONG"
They both approach each other and meet in the middle of the ring. Metric has trained well and opens with the first punch:
How many feet in a mile?
Imperial answers after a moments hesitation with:
5280
"Good exchange there Bob, hasn't worried either of them."
"No Bill, it's still neck and neck, although Imperial took a fraction of a second to divert that question."
Imperial decides to attack with a similar strategy: How many metres in a kilometre?
Instantly, Metric flashes back with: 1000
"Wasn't that a great counter by Metric eh Bob - so quick. He's looking good tonight"
"Sure is Bill"
Imperial goes on the attack again with a curly one: How much does a litre of water weigh?
Metric comes back quickly with: 1 kilogram
"Great offense from Imperial there Bob. Combining both measurement of mass and volume - well thought out."
"Sure thing Bill, but I think he may have left himself a bit vulnerable here. If I can guess, Metric should follow up with..."
How much does a pint of water weigh?
Imperial reels back with such a tough one. He hesitates.
"Thought he'd do that Bill, he's looking shaky. I wonder how he's trained for this?"
Suddenly, Imperial's eyes light up and he comes back with:
1.0431758 pounds
"Well Bob, our champ got out of that one but it was a bit messy eh?"
"It was Bill. I think he was lucky there. Metric should come back with a tough one here if he's got it in him."
As Metric prepares for an offense, the champ Imperial slips in a sneaky one:
If 1mm of rain falls on 1 square metre of roof, how much water is collected?
"What a shot Bob! That'll hurt him."
Metric defends without a flinch:
1 litre
"No Bill, Metric has trained too well and has got too much ability. That reply was instananeous. You know, I think he should follow the same strategy as before and follow up with..."
If 1 point of rain falls on 1 square foot of roof, how much water is collected?
"Imperial is down!"
1 2 3 4 5 6 7...
7.97922 fl oz
"What an answer! Our boy's still got guts!"
"DONG"
End of Round 1.
"Bill, that bell came just at the right time. This fight shouldn't last the next round."
"You're right Bob, but that guy from France is just too good.
Round 2: "DONG"
Imperial comes out and slips in a gentle offense:
How many grams in a kilogram?
Metric defends:
1000
"Playground stuff there Bob."
"Yeah Bill"
Metric goes for the kill:
How many grains in an ounce?
"Uh oh. I think this is it Bob."
Imperial stutters:
uuuhhhhmmmmmmm. Which system?
"Oh Bill, he's answered with a question. That's not following the spirit of the game!"
Metric replies:
All three.
"Curtains Bill. I'm sure."
Imperial responds:
Well in Avoirdupois its 437.5, in Apothecary its 480 and the other one is... What other one?
Metric jabs:
You tell me.
Imperial falls to the floor.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
"Knocked out Bob!"
"Yeah Bill. I guess we have to get used to the idea of a new system here in the US of A. This guy is a mean lean measuring machine."
"Just let me interrupt you Bob, our man Leroy is down in the ring talking with Mean Mr Metric."
"Mean Mr Metric that was an incredible last blow there. Tell me what is that other system"
Tell you the truth, Leroy, I don't know nor care. I just know there are three and they are all stupid.
"Interesting response there from Mean Mr Metric, Back to you Bill"
"We've just got word that the judges are going to make an announcement..."
After final discussion, the judges have decided to declare the fight null and void due to the fact that the win by Mean Mr Metric would mean that some politicians might lose the next election.
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