[OT] Story
- Thread starter Leopold Stotch
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fercil
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Re: [OT] Story
:highfive: :rolf: thanks!
ok, so while i was working and being tired and hating all kinds of artists, i managed to write Chapter Six and pretty much finish Chapter Seven. about to type and post them!
That's the ticket, Leo ... always leave your audience misspelling more:rolf:
:highfive: :rolf: thanks!
ok, so while i was working and being tired and hating all kinds of artists, i managed to write Chapter Six and pretty much finish Chapter Seven. about to type and post them!
- Aug 2, 2009
- 15,131
- 176
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Re: [OT] Story
Chapitre Six
The men walked the safety route of the mysterious and eerie jungle. There were many unusual things in this place such as flies in the shape of macaroni noodles and malfunctioned speaker bugs - bugs in the shape of speakers that sporadically broadcast thoughts and spoken phrases aloud. (NOTE: the workplace got new phones and a new phone system on Friday and on Saturday we were still trying to figure it out and get used to it. Someone kept hitting speaker phone or leaving the hold button on over the intercom so that's how the speaker bugs came to be part of this story. It was very interruptive and I needed another insect to invent)
"This is SO WEIRD!" Kestegs exclaimed. A stick of butter with orange, black, and white colored wings fluttered in front of his face.
"A monarch butterfly. They say when they fly in front of your face they are offended by it," Corax told him.
"Oh, bug off! It likes me."
"Oh, bug off! It likes me," echoed a speaker bug nearby.
A macaroni fly buzzed by Marahumm. As he waved his hand around to shoo it off, Cakes caught itand cautiously said, "Don't hit the macaroni fly! Those are the servants of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!"
"He's real?!" Gorny and Kestegs said together.
"For this story's purpose, yes. Granted, the macaroni flies are the lowest of the servants and the angel-haired bees are the highest, you don't want to kill any of them. Else you get balls to the face. Meatballs, that is."
"Ha! Teabagged with meatballs. How tasty," Gorny snorted.
They walked on and took in the amazing sights: exotic flowers (literally. These flowers pole danced on trees and their branches, shouting vulgar things such as, "Wanna touch my stamen and pistols, baby?"), polar bears ("I told you!"), exploding Death Stars.
"They live for three minutes, explode, try to rebuild, and explode again. Don't inhale the smoke. It will kill you. Here." Cakes passed out black face masks. "This should help."
"I feel like my transformation is almost complete," Gorny said with a nerdy smile.
"I ran out of helmets, Darthsithius." (NOTE: omg, i hope that's right or almost right! It's supposed to be the name of Gorny's Rogue. Sorry if that's not right. I deleted the PM on accident!)
Time passed and appetites grew. But where was a safe place to eat?
"I know there's a lake or pond around here somewhere," Corax mumbled to himself as he wandered off.
"Wait for me!" Cakes shouted and disappeared.
"Guys, don't leave us! Perfect. What great leaders they are." Kestegs sourly replied.
"Well, they don't seem to be Eagle Scout material," Gorny chuckled. Marahumm gave the Eagel Scout salute. "But we'll be fine. I highly doubt they leave us here in this strange jungle. Don't look at me like that, Mara!"
"Guys, look!" Kestegs held up a piece of sprinkled rainbow cake. "Cake in the jungle! We're saved!"
"Where'd you find that?"
"On the ground over here." He sniffed it. "Smells freshly baked. NOM!"
Gorny was puzzled. "You're going to eat some random piece of rainbow cake that might be poisoned or turn you into a hairy fairy out here in this crazy jungle? Did Noodle not teach you anything?!"
"I'm starving! And while it tastes wonderful, there is a weird back taste and odor. Like, I don't get it until I'm done swallowing, but it sorta reminds me of something. Like, when Chubs and her brother were babies. I dunno why-"
"DON'T EAT THAT!" the two brothers came running to Kestegs. Cakes reached him first and slapped the tasty dessert out of his hand. Corax slapped Kestegs's face.
"OWW! JEE-SUS! What was that for?"
"Mainly 'cuz I wanted to slap you. Secondly, you're eating dung and I was hoping to knock it out of your mouth."
"Beg your ****in' pardon?!"
"You're eating unicorn ****!"
Gorny and Marahumm roared with laughter as Kestegs found a bush to vomit behind. "OH, GAWD! THERE'S MORE RAINBOW CAKES BACK HERE!! BLUURRRRGGHHH (blech) !!"
Corax rubbed his back soothingly. "Silly American. Didn't you know unicorns fart cotton candy and **** rainbow colored cake?"
Kestegs finished, wiped his mouth and said, "Now I know why it reminded me of my kids. It was when I had to change their diapers." He lurched again.
"When he's done with that, we found a pond we can all chill out and eat at," Cakes said. "The water is safe to drink and no rainbow crap around either!"
Chapitre Six
The men walked the safety route of the mysterious and eerie jungle. There were many unusual things in this place such as flies in the shape of macaroni noodles and malfunctioned speaker bugs - bugs in the shape of speakers that sporadically broadcast thoughts and spoken phrases aloud. (NOTE: the workplace got new phones and a new phone system on Friday and on Saturday we were still trying to figure it out and get used to it. Someone kept hitting speaker phone or leaving the hold button on over the intercom so that's how the speaker bugs came to be part of this story. It was very interruptive and I needed another insect to invent)
"This is SO WEIRD!" Kestegs exclaimed. A stick of butter with orange, black, and white colored wings fluttered in front of his face.
"A monarch butterfly. They say when they fly in front of your face they are offended by it," Corax told him.
"Oh, bug off! It likes me."
"Oh, bug off! It likes me," echoed a speaker bug nearby.
A macaroni fly buzzed by Marahumm. As he waved his hand around to shoo it off, Cakes caught itand cautiously said, "Don't hit the macaroni fly! Those are the servants of the Flying Spaghetti Monster!"
"He's real?!" Gorny and Kestegs said together.
"For this story's purpose, yes. Granted, the macaroni flies are the lowest of the servants and the angel-haired bees are the highest, you don't want to kill any of them. Else you get balls to the face. Meatballs, that is."
"Ha! Teabagged with meatballs. How tasty," Gorny snorted.
They walked on and took in the amazing sights: exotic flowers (literally. These flowers pole danced on trees and their branches, shouting vulgar things such as, "Wanna touch my stamen and pistols, baby?"), polar bears ("I told you!"), exploding Death Stars.
"They live for three minutes, explode, try to rebuild, and explode again. Don't inhale the smoke. It will kill you. Here." Cakes passed out black face masks. "This should help."
"I feel like my transformation is almost complete," Gorny said with a nerdy smile.
"I ran out of helmets, Darthsithius." (NOTE: omg, i hope that's right or almost right! It's supposed to be the name of Gorny's Rogue. Sorry if that's not right. I deleted the PM on accident!
) Time passed and appetites grew. But where was a safe place to eat?
"I know there's a lake or pond around here somewhere," Corax mumbled to himself as he wandered off.
"Wait for me!" Cakes shouted and disappeared.
"Guys, don't leave us! Perfect. What great leaders they are." Kestegs sourly replied.
"Well, they don't seem to be Eagle Scout material," Gorny chuckled. Marahumm gave the Eagel Scout salute. "But we'll be fine. I highly doubt they leave us here in this strange jungle. Don't look at me like that, Mara!"
"Guys, look!" Kestegs held up a piece of sprinkled rainbow cake. "Cake in the jungle! We're saved!"
"Where'd you find that?"
"On the ground over here." He sniffed it. "Smells freshly baked. NOM!"
Gorny was puzzled. "You're going to eat some random piece of rainbow cake that might be poisoned or turn you into a hairy fairy out here in this crazy jungle? Did Noodle not teach you anything?!"
"I'm starving! And while it tastes wonderful, there is a weird back taste and odor. Like, I don't get it until I'm done swallowing, but it sorta reminds me of something. Like, when Chubs and her brother were babies. I dunno why-"
"DON'T EAT THAT!" the two brothers came running to Kestegs. Cakes reached him first and slapped the tasty dessert out of his hand. Corax slapped Kestegs's face.
"OWW! JEE-SUS! What was that for?"
"Mainly 'cuz I wanted to slap you. Secondly, you're eating dung and I was hoping to knock it out of your mouth."
"Beg your ****in' pardon?!"
"You're eating unicorn ****!"
Gorny and Marahumm roared with laughter as Kestegs found a bush to vomit behind. "OH, GAWD! THERE'S MORE RAINBOW CAKES BACK HERE!! BLUURRRRGGHHH (blech) !!"
Corax rubbed his back soothingly. "Silly American. Didn't you know unicorns fart cotton candy and **** rainbow colored cake?"
Kestegs finished, wiped his mouth and said, "Now I know why it reminded me of my kids. It was when I had to change their diapers." He lurched again.
"When he's done with that, we found a pond we can all chill out and eat at," Cakes said. "The water is safe to drink and no rainbow crap around either!"
- Aug 2, 2009
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Re: [OT] Story
Chapitre Sept
the pond was gorgeous. It was quiet and peaceful, a little stream flowed over a hill and the water so blue it looked close to indigo.
"Has the water always been this blue?" Corax asked his brother.
"Sure. Why not?" Cakes shrugged.
Corax sat on the soft ground and drank deeply while the others took off their backpacks and settled down. "So refreshing."
"It's safe to drink?" Gorny asked. "It's not unicorn pee or anything?"
"Of course it's safe to drink! Unlike Green Man over there, I know what to ingest and what not to ingest."
Green Man was one of several nicknames Kestegs had earned within the last half hour. His skin had become the color of green beans and he resembled the Jolly Green Giant.
"Oh, shush up or I'll throw up on you!"
"Haha, drink some water. It'll freshen you up," Cakes recommended.
"No, thanks. I brought some of my own."
"Suit yourself."
"I dunno about you guys, but I have to go bake a loaf in the bushes over there," Marahumm said as he rummaged his bag and departed the group.
"You go do that," Gorny called after him. He drank some water and filled up his canteen.
Cakes splashed his face with the cool water and drank. "Man, I already feel so good. I feel a bit more energized. Still hungry, though."
"Hey, Cakes," Croax turned to face them and the three men shouted in shock.
"Aaaaaaaaaaarrgghh!!"
"Whoooooooooooaaaahhhhh!!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" (This was from Kestegs.)
"Oh, I'm not that ugly and I just trimmed my face a few days ago!"
"No, it's not that," Gorny said. "Your-your-your-f-f-face-"
Kesetgs kept laughing.
"Kestegs, shut up."
"No, it's quite hilarious, actually. Your face is as purple as a grape! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"What?" Corax looked upon his hands and saw that they began turning purple. "Aaah!"
"Now me!" Gorny shouted in shock as he watched his skin turn into the same purple hue.
"What was in that water, Corax?" Cakes angrily asked as he began to turn the same grape shade.
"It's the Pond of Refreshing! This isn't supposed to be happening!"
Marahumm emerged from the bushes and took one looke at the brightly colored men. "Hahahaha-ahhahaha! What did you guys do this time?"
"Drank the water," Kestegs answered.
"Man, seems like no one knows what to eat in here. Let's see... Aha! A sign!"
"Read it!"
"'To the drinkers of this lake
We have tainted it to make
A new and colorful drink
Called Indigo Ink.
All it does is turn the skin purple
So you can look like Steve Urkel.
No lasting or permanent effects
You'll live and have many prefects.
Signed, The Boysenberry Fairies."
"Those damned Boysenberry Fairies!" Cakes exclaimed.
"Hey, you were the one who said the water was okay!" Corax reminded him.
"I said, 'Sure, why not?' That translates to 'I don't freakin' know!'"
"So if you don't know, why tell us to drink it?!"
They began to wrestle on the ground. Kestegs watched while eating popcorn that randomly appeared in his hands. "Careful, Cakes. Corax hits like a girl. My wife hits harder than him."
"What was it thirty minutes ago, Green-face? 'Owwww!' like a green crybaby?"
"At least I don't look like Avatar's first cousin!"
"That's it!" Kestegs was dragged into the match by Corax, popcorn spilling everywhere.
Mara and Gorny looked at each other and decided to let them wear each other out as they had their lunches.
Chapitre Sept
the pond was gorgeous. It was quiet and peaceful, a little stream flowed over a hill and the water so blue it looked close to indigo.
"Has the water always been this blue?" Corax asked his brother.
"Sure. Why not?" Cakes shrugged.
Corax sat on the soft ground and drank deeply while the others took off their backpacks and settled down. "So refreshing."
"It's safe to drink?" Gorny asked. "It's not unicorn pee or anything?"
"Of course it's safe to drink! Unlike Green Man over there, I know what to ingest and what not to ingest."
Green Man was one of several nicknames Kestegs had earned within the last half hour. His skin had become the color of green beans and he resembled the Jolly Green Giant.
"Oh, shush up or I'll throw up on you!"
"Haha, drink some water. It'll freshen you up," Cakes recommended.
"No, thanks. I brought some of my own."
"Suit yourself."
"I dunno about you guys, but I have to go bake a loaf in the bushes over there," Marahumm said as he rummaged his bag and departed the group.
"You go do that," Gorny called after him. He drank some water and filled up his canteen.
Cakes splashed his face with the cool water and drank. "Man, I already feel so good. I feel a bit more energized. Still hungry, though."
"Hey, Cakes," Croax turned to face them and the three men shouted in shock.
"Aaaaaaaaaaarrgghh!!"
"Whoooooooooooaaaahhhhh!!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" (This was from Kestegs.)
"Oh, I'm not that ugly and I just trimmed my face a few days ago!"
"No, it's not that," Gorny said. "Your-your-your-f-f-face-"
Kesetgs kept laughing.
"Kestegs, shut up."
"No, it's quite hilarious, actually. Your face is as purple as a grape! HAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"What?" Corax looked upon his hands and saw that they began turning purple. "Aaah!"
"Now me!" Gorny shouted in shock as he watched his skin turn into the same purple hue.
"What was in that water, Corax?" Cakes angrily asked as he began to turn the same grape shade.
"It's the Pond of Refreshing! This isn't supposed to be happening!"
Marahumm emerged from the bushes and took one looke at the brightly colored men. "Hahahaha-ahhahaha! What did you guys do this time?"
"Drank the water," Kestegs answered.
"Man, seems like no one knows what to eat in here. Let's see... Aha! A sign!"
"Read it!"
"'To the drinkers of this lake
We have tainted it to make
A new and colorful drink
Called Indigo Ink.
All it does is turn the skin purple
So you can look like Steve Urkel.
No lasting or permanent effects
You'll live and have many prefects.
Signed, The Boysenberry Fairies."
"Those damned Boysenberry Fairies!" Cakes exclaimed.
"Hey, you were the one who said the water was okay!" Corax reminded him.
"I said, 'Sure, why not?' That translates to 'I don't freakin' know!'"
"So if you don't know, why tell us to drink it?!"
They began to wrestle on the ground. Kestegs watched while eating popcorn that randomly appeared in his hands. "Careful, Cakes. Corax hits like a girl. My wife hits harder than him."
"What was it thirty minutes ago, Green-face? 'Owwww!' like a green crybaby?"
"At least I don't look like Avatar's first cousin!"
"That's it!" Kestegs was dragged into the match by Corax, popcorn spilling everywhere.
Mara and Gorny looked at each other and decided to let them wear each other out as they had their lunches.
Last edited:
- Aug 2, 2009
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Re: [OT] Story
I think I prefer my one about Kesteg beating his wife and FoE after Kangaroo Sacks
I think I prefer my one about Kesteg beating his wife and FoE after Kangaroo Sacks
fercil
New member
- Jun 21, 2003
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Re: [OT] Story
I think it's too obvious, so it would be mainly targeted to newcomers as information.
Re: [OT] Story
Plus he might hit like a girl but he butchers like a master (and he never goes anywhere without his cleaver ....)
Plus he might hit like a girl but he butchers like a master (and he never goes anywhere without his cleaver ....)
LozHinge the Unhinged
Active member
- Jan 22, 2007
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Re: [OT] Story
What if he butchers like a girl, cleaves like a baker and hits like a candlestick maker?
He'd be up **** creek without a stitch in time, I reckon.
What if he butchers like a girl, cleaves like a baker and hits like a candlestick maker?
He'd be up **** creek without a stitch in time, I reckon.
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