I really hate my life. Or more specifically, my body's devolution.
Ok so I have to live with digestive and bowel issues. That sucks.
But for many years - already in my late teens - I've suffered from sore legs. That got worse. Knowing the fate of my family I decided to just pretend it wasn't there. But then, now 5 years ago, a doctor had to do some prodding and within 24 hours my legs were bandaged up to drain out moisture and waste. Without warning, unable to shower for a week, diagnosed with lipoedema which can't be cured and cursed with the lifelong prison of medical support stockings.
I was lied to that most people find them beneficial and the pain will get less.
It got worse. My legs feel like they're permanently bruised. Which they are in a way. My feet suffer - tight stockings around them leave my forefeet swollen and walking isn't improved by wearing these torture devices.
Then, now 2 weeks ago, I was getting a checkup. The doctor suggested that given my enduring pain and suffering, and given how thin my legs had gotten, I should see how it goes without the stockings. That felt as a relief but in the back of my mind I felt something was wrong.
Whenever something sounds too good to be true, it always is, isn't it?
The past week the pain's gotten insufferable. I'm now thorn between evils - stockings and severe pain in feet and ankles with walking difficulties, or no stockings and heavy pain in calfs and walking difficulties.
There's no cure.
Every checkup I've mentioned the pain. Every time I was told tighter stockings would cure it. They made it worse.
I was then told I am unlucky as most people profit from the tights.
How is that helping?
A childish thing to say but it does feel like it: aren't I already unlucky enough? My other disabilities already disable a normal life. I always have to be careful. I'm slowly turning into a monster.
Evolution has failed us. Even the gods cursing Medusa were kinder.
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