37. The Lords Pain
With Andariel left behind to guard the Tamoe mountain pass it has only been logical to assume that other lesser evils could be encountered in other strategic sites, such as important harbours, fords, oasises or perhaps random old tombs in the middle of nowhere. Especially the latter could obviously not fail to be of decisive importance for the enemy army. Obviously one cannot continue the campaign and leave such a strategically vital place unclaimed in ones rear as a walled off canyon stacked with archeological playgrounds.
According to the droning beastiary of the resident, and only remaining, Horadric Wise Guy the arch-slug and mega-maggot Duriel possesses not only supreme strength but also an aura of damp coldness which he himself is nearly immune to. Deckard Cain wrinkles his brow and shakes his head as he dissuades the WWW from attempting to use any cold magic. Such a folly is bound to end only in despair, he laments. About that time, the witches facial expressions have turned to various displays of insult and disbelief. Who are the nearly extinct Horadrim to dare to doubt the powers of the elements? None is more icy than Wanja.
"Duriel is mine. I will break him with nothing but ice just to show him. Resistance is futile."
The feeble protests and woe fade in the distance as Wilma, Wanja and Wilhelmina make their way to the waypoint. Wanja heads for the presumably true tomb of Tal Rasha while Wilma and Wilhelmina watch over the flanks and plan to attack the other tombs to prevent Wanja from being ambushed. It is just that there is some disagreement about which of the tombs were actually the true one. Curiously enough, all three have scribbled a different rune in their journals. Fed up with the short-sighted incompetence of the other two, each witch head out in the right direction and leave the rest to search the decoy tombs.
Wanja encounters a very interesting throwing axe that unfortunately is a bit heavy for her. It would otherwise be a neat tool to overcharge with a sorceress elemental mastery.
The tombs are filled with undead as well as scarabs and more boring bullies like the palace cellars, the almost as insufferable gorebellies. Scarabs can be effectively lured into traps in the narrow corridors if a witch casts a meteor or firew all and then runs to its edge.
The ghoul lords a mobile and extremely resilient, and draining a lot of mana with their spells. A dual immune lord prove nearly too much for Wanjas lightning mastery but only nearly. Once they have retreated into a corner all ghou lords are much easier to deal with.
Duriels CEU (Chief Executive Undead) is on the other hand ridiculously underwhelming. Rumours of the danger posed by this Ancient Kaa the Soulless are obviously exaggerated as his dry and brittle wrappings catch fire with ease.
The gorebellies are on the other hand quite the pain. They can not be frozen and are thereby more dangerous than blunderbores but on the other hand they are not immune to fire and can therefore be much more easily attacked and their regeneration can be prevented by the fire walls and meteor fire pools. Even so, a pack of fanatic hooligans of absurd muscle mass and elemental resistance are extremely dangerous and exhausting to deal with. Wanja ecounters a trio of such pack in one tomb and when leading the last one away she is seized with a vision from another world of a witch chronicler being dragged away by some dark power going by the fearful name of "Real Life". She is so unsettled that she retreats back to the town for the time being.
This Ooze Froth, somewhat aptly called the mauler like its darker kin in Kurast, has been the only monster in hell that has escaped Wanja so far. Not a little irritating. I had cleared another tomb easily enough and as usual underestimated how much time the next would take and so had to leave before setting fire to the teal menace. On the other hand I don't think I'm planning to open all evil urns anyway so no full clearing of the game will be done anyway.
While the gorebelly leader would have fallen easily in time, Wanja was rewarded for her retreat with the crushingly resistant crusher Storm Wound which was possibly the most resilient she had ever faced. Lightning had almost no effect and while Riphook and poisoning at a time seem to whittle down its hit point, suddenly she hit a bad accuracy streak and it all regenerated. Storm Wound meanwhile chased Narphet back and forth so Wanja had trouble aiming properly. Eventually she was able to overpower her foe with lightning bolts but it was by the narrowest margin.
After much bickering with her so called trusty colleagues, Wanja together with Narphet are able to locate the real true tomb of Tal Rasha. Wilmas and Wilhelmin's true tombs are not as true as Wanjas. They're just false true tombs.
The iron wolves do by the way charge their employers by the hour and not by any part of the job done, so they are blissfully unmoved by the incessant disagreements and waste of time of the WWW...they mean by that of course the deep academic discussions and tactical planning.
There can be no doubt that Wanjas true tomb is the most true tomb. The place is freaking huge!
It is also packed with undead, which she is quite capable of dealing with, but it still takes ages to clear such a place. Mixed groups of ghosts, ghoul lords and burning dead supported by unravelers are tricky to deal with for the skeletons are protected from frozen orbs by the interspersed ghoul lords and hinder Wanja from keeping the ghoul lords in place and being able to set them on fire. When split up, the groups are vulnerable but doing so always takes time.
The automatic defense systems of the tomb do not impress.
It has been a long wading through the undead but at last the regal cracks in the wall await. Now there are several possible approaches to battling the legendarily bloated maggot. If Narphet can hold on for even a few seconds fire walls will roast his many-legged posterior. Wanjas faster cast rate and skill levels make static field an intriguing option too. But easiest to aim from a long distance remains frozen orb, and it is after all a matter of principle. The lord of pain attempts to resist the element most of all and consequently he must be crushed by it and nothing else!
Wanja opens the battle by cursing her enemy. That should come as no surprise of course given the uncouth behaviour of the witches.
From the very depths of the dark of her obnoxiousness Wanja then conjures the most insulting of witches chants, a degrading and abhorrent verse from her very HEART.
I would walk around at evening
Through the hairy ones and cats
I would study glyphs and markings
Incinerating six-legged gnats
Then your innocent distractions
Weren't so hard
My emotional reaction
Caught me off guard
They were nothing at all
Like any rabble I've fought before
And it was nothing at all
I expected just so much more
Neither scarabs or the dead
Stood in my way
To the muscle-brained enforcers
I'd just say
You won't catch me at all
Now I slide down to your burrow
And my feet are quick to move
Cause I know my destination
Is a teleport past you
From our first communication
It was clear
Any sliver of resistance
Would soon disappear
You have nothing at all
Against frozen orbs anymore
And it was nothing at all
To remove it, it takes no more
Than a curse, and it will let
me have my way
If you ask me how I did it
I'll just say
It was nothing at all
Then my masterful perfection
Hits you so hard
No resistance, no reaction
You've lowered your guard
It was nothing at all
I've done it all time before
To my orbs you will fall
Like I thought, no resistance more
No one else has ever made
You owned this way
When I'm asked of how I did it
I'll just say
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all...
Unable to bear the humiliation Duriel collapses in a pile of oozing cold slime slowly dissolving into a foul, cold puddle.
The triumph is only slightly marred by the minor fact that Tal Rasha and potential dark wanderers have apparently vacated the region already and the even more insignificant and petty fact of the trifling diplomatic incident. A mere misunderstanding and little overeagerness, that is all. No reason for the other witches to be so upset when Wanja recounts the episode, suitably assisted by Narphets unfittingly snarky comments (really unbecoming behaviour of a hired instructor and bodyguard).
Wilma and Wilhelmina are really just overreacting. After all, as the old saying goes, if you want to stay warm through the evening you can set the fireplace on fire and if you want to stay warm throughout the week you can set the sorceress academy on fire and if you want to stay warm throughout eternity you can set an archangel on fire. No?
According to the droning beastiary of the resident, and only remaining, Horadric Wise Guy the arch-slug and mega-maggot Duriel possesses not only supreme strength but also an aura of damp coldness which he himself is nearly immune to. Deckard Cain wrinkles his brow and shakes his head as he dissuades the WWW from attempting to use any cold magic. Such a folly is bound to end only in despair, he laments. About that time, the witches facial expressions have turned to various displays of insult and disbelief. Who are the nearly extinct Horadrim to dare to doubt the powers of the elements? None is more icy than Wanja.
"Duriel is mine. I will break him with nothing but ice just to show him. Resistance is futile."
The feeble protests and woe fade in the distance as Wilma, Wanja and Wilhelmina make their way to the waypoint. Wanja heads for the presumably true tomb of Tal Rasha while Wilma and Wilhelmina watch over the flanks and plan to attack the other tombs to prevent Wanja from being ambushed. It is just that there is some disagreement about which of the tombs were actually the true one. Curiously enough, all three have scribbled a different rune in their journals. Fed up with the short-sighted incompetence of the other two, each witch head out in the right direction and leave the rest to search the decoy tombs.
Wanja encounters a very interesting throwing axe that unfortunately is a bit heavy for her. It would otherwise be a neat tool to overcharge with a sorceress elemental mastery.
The tombs are filled with undead as well as scarabs and more boring bullies like the palace cellars, the almost as insufferable gorebellies. Scarabs can be effectively lured into traps in the narrow corridors if a witch casts a meteor or firew all and then runs to its edge.
The ghoul lords a mobile and extremely resilient, and draining a lot of mana with their spells. A dual immune lord prove nearly too much for Wanjas lightning mastery but only nearly. Once they have retreated into a corner all ghou lords are much easier to deal with.
Duriels CEU (Chief Executive Undead) is on the other hand ridiculously underwhelming. Rumours of the danger posed by this Ancient Kaa the Soulless are obviously exaggerated as his dry and brittle wrappings catch fire with ease.
The gorebellies are on the other hand quite the pain. They can not be frozen and are thereby more dangerous than blunderbores but on the other hand they are not immune to fire and can therefore be much more easily attacked and their regeneration can be prevented by the fire walls and meteor fire pools. Even so, a pack of fanatic hooligans of absurd muscle mass and elemental resistance are extremely dangerous and exhausting to deal with. Wanja ecounters a trio of such pack in one tomb and when leading the last one away she is seized with a vision from another world of a witch chronicler being dragged away by some dark power going by the fearful name of "Real Life". She is so unsettled that she retreats back to the town for the time being.
This Ooze Froth, somewhat aptly called the mauler like its darker kin in Kurast, has been the only monster in hell that has escaped Wanja so far. Not a little irritating. I had cleared another tomb easily enough and as usual underestimated how much time the next would take and so had to leave before setting fire to the teal menace. On the other hand I don't think I'm planning to open all evil urns anyway so no full clearing of the game will be done anyway.
While the gorebelly leader would have fallen easily in time, Wanja was rewarded for her retreat with the crushingly resistant crusher Storm Wound which was possibly the most resilient she had ever faced. Lightning had almost no effect and while Riphook and poisoning at a time seem to whittle down its hit point, suddenly she hit a bad accuracy streak and it all regenerated. Storm Wound meanwhile chased Narphet back and forth so Wanja had trouble aiming properly. Eventually she was able to overpower her foe with lightning bolts but it was by the narrowest margin.
After much bickering with her so called trusty colleagues, Wanja together with Narphet are able to locate the real true tomb of Tal Rasha. Wilmas and Wilhelmin's true tombs are not as true as Wanjas. They're just false true tombs.
The iron wolves do by the way charge their employers by the hour and not by any part of the job done, so they are blissfully unmoved by the incessant disagreements and waste of time of the WWW...they mean by that of course the deep academic discussions and tactical planning.
There can be no doubt that Wanjas true tomb is the most true tomb. The place is freaking huge!
It is also packed with undead, which she is quite capable of dealing with, but it still takes ages to clear such a place. Mixed groups of ghosts, ghoul lords and burning dead supported by unravelers are tricky to deal with for the skeletons are protected from frozen orbs by the interspersed ghoul lords and hinder Wanja from keeping the ghoul lords in place and being able to set them on fire. When split up, the groups are vulnerable but doing so always takes time.
The automatic defense systems of the tomb do not impress.
It has been a long wading through the undead but at last the regal cracks in the wall await. Now there are several possible approaches to battling the legendarily bloated maggot. If Narphet can hold on for even a few seconds fire walls will roast his many-legged posterior. Wanjas faster cast rate and skill levels make static field an intriguing option too. But easiest to aim from a long distance remains frozen orb, and it is after all a matter of principle. The lord of pain attempts to resist the element most of all and consequently he must be crushed by it and nothing else!
Wanja opens the battle by cursing her enemy. That should come as no surprise of course given the uncouth behaviour of the witches.
From the very depths of the dark of her obnoxiousness Wanja then conjures the most insulting of witches chants, a degrading and abhorrent verse from her very HEART.
I would walk around at evening
Through the hairy ones and cats
I would study glyphs and markings
Incinerating six-legged gnats
Then your innocent distractions
Weren't so hard
My emotional reaction
Caught me off guard
They were nothing at all
Like any rabble I've fought before
And it was nothing at all
I expected just so much more
Neither scarabs or the dead
Stood in my way
To the muscle-brained enforcers
I'd just say
You won't catch me at all
Now I slide down to your burrow
And my feet are quick to move
Cause I know my destination
Is a teleport past you
From our first communication
It was clear
Any sliver of resistance
Would soon disappear
You have nothing at all
Against frozen orbs anymore
And it was nothing at all
To remove it, it takes no more
Than a curse, and it will let
me have my way
If you ask me how I did it
I'll just say
It was nothing at all
Then my masterful perfection
Hits you so hard
No resistance, no reaction
You've lowered your guard
It was nothing at all
I've done it all time before
To my orbs you will fall
Like I thought, no resistance more
No one else has ever made
You owned this way
When I'm asked of how I did it
I'll just say
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all
You were nothing at all...
Unable to bear the humiliation Duriel collapses in a pile of oozing cold slime slowly dissolving into a foul, cold puddle.
The triumph is only slightly marred by the minor fact that Tal Rasha and potential dark wanderers have apparently vacated the region already and the even more insignificant and petty fact of the trifling diplomatic incident. A mere misunderstanding and little overeagerness, that is all. No reason for the other witches to be so upset when Wanja recounts the episode, suitably assisted by Narphets unfittingly snarky comments (really unbecoming behaviour of a hired instructor and bodyguard).
Wilma and Wilhelmina are really just overreacting. After all, as the old saying goes, if you want to stay warm through the evening you can set the fireplace on fire and if you want to stay warm throughout the week you can set the sorceress academy on fire and if you want to stay warm throughout eternity you can set an archangel on fire. No?
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