Barbie awoke and stretched her weary arms. Although firing off thousands of arrows in the last few days was doing wonders for her muscle tone, her life was becoming rather tedious. Irritated at herself for wasting all that gold on a Bowflex when she spent all her waking hours repeating the same motion anyway, the disgruntled warrior returned to her mission. Splitting carver camps before her like waves off the bow of a ship, Barbie continued on through the Blood Moor and into the Burial Grounds. Blood Raven had a formidable army at her disposal; Barbie, being slightly more intelligent than revived corpses, was able to lure them out and handle them in small groups.
Emboldened by her easy victory, Barbie plunged on ahead and was able to once again rescue "the old dude who like, knows stuff." While on her journey, Barbie happened across an ancient book which told a tale of woe, the horrible death of a hundred virgins, so a countess could utilize their rejuvenating blood. Barbie stood over the book aghast.
"Blood isn't good for your complexion!" She cried. "I must work to right this travesty."
Hours later Barbie and Ilzan finally located the ruins of what was once a grand tower. Descending ever deeper into its sub-basements, Ilzan fell prey to demons innumerable times. After spending a fortune on resurrection costs, Barbie decided it was time to change things up a bit. After a deep discussion with Charsi on how "neato-burrito" Barbarians could be (among other topics such as Kashya's obvious lack of fashion sense, and like, how old could Akara really be?), Barbie resolved to "upgrade" her help. Ilzan, weary from his journey, thanked Barbie for the honor of joining her in battle, returned his gear, and recieved one last slap for a suggestion involving good-bye kisses. Shortly thereafter he wandered off in the direction of Lut Gholein, never to be heard from again.
Barbie's new companion, a strapping young barbarian by the name of Alaric, told Barbie he would "Make ugly-monsters go death-visit like herd-food," which she took to mean "I shall help you, fair maiden, for thou dost shine the sunlight of your gracious smile upon my weary soul; such bountiful gifts could never compare to the trifling sums of gold wrought by the demise of those foul beasts who dare soil my maiden's breathing air."
Alaric was able to peruse the local shops before leaving Harrogath, and Barbie bought him a shiny new toy to "play" with. After staring at the Rouge Camp's warming fire for several hours in deep thought, Alaric named his weapon "Flaming Flamberge of Flame." Although not very creative, it got the message across, and Barbie hoped it would fare well against the physically immune monsters she had seen wandering nearby. With the assurances of Charsi that Barbarians will make you go "Wow," Barbie set off again to slay the countess. The descent was steep and dark, but Alaric did his part in protecting "his lady," and soon the countess was no more. Barbie, sure that slaying this, the most violent of the three countesses she had met on her journey, would reap great rewards indeed, was literally sick to her stomach when all her efforts were rewarded with an El and an Eld. Such a pittance for so great a deed caused Barbie great distress, and shortly thereafter she decided to make camp for the night.
Character: Barbie
Class: Passive Zon
Level: 72
Quest: Forgotten Tower (Hell)
Waypoint: Outer Cloister (Hell)