Does anyone think we should give the mafia one more chance to whack RK or do we lynch him today?
*walks out of the ice rink*
Hey! I can hear you, you know! And if you whack me, I'll whack you back!
*brandishes giant inflatable hammer*
Now, to this Mafia question...I don't see any offices with big "Mafia" signs out front, so I've come to a stunning revelation:
they must be pretending to be just like us! Shocking, isn't it? Since they're hiding among us, I did a little research on past Mafia families, and they all seem to be the perfect, model citizen types...until they mix concrete into your socks. Scary!
As I thought all you mathematicians would appreciate it, I busted out my old numerology textbook and crunched some numbers, and the results are quite alarming:
First, just to make sure, I checked myself and from my iris matching the 79th pattern listed in the third edition of Phrenology: A Science, I can safely conclude that I lack a split personality or some other alteration that could make me a member of the Mafia, unknown to even myself! 79, after all, reduces itself to 16, and further to 7, which is, of course, the number of truth. Talk about a freaky feeling when you don’t know for sure, let me tell you. I did find, though, an odd flaw with the 245th and 254th hairs on the back of my right hand (which are interesting in and of themselves, being permutations of each other,) for they clearly predict a dialectic that I have seen is wholly false. Indeed, I have seen this elsewhere, too, and am not sure what to make of it.
Next, I chose to examine Rashiminos, since there seems to be much talk of him. As I of course could not use phrenology here, I switched to his natal chart. Reducing his birthdate of March 26, which makes him an Aries and of the first listed sign, I summed 1, 3, 2 and 6 to yield 12, which further reduces to 3, another number of virtue. Most notable, as well, is that his planets are centered in the southern hemisphere, more precisely at 318 degrees. This strongly suggests that he is too headstrong and individualistic to be a member of a group of secretive criminals.
Jaago seemed a logical next step, since he received all those votes last night (and here I thought that meant people liked him...) Now, an augury yielded a link to the 121st recorded eclipse of the ancient world; as 121 is one of only two perfect squares of x cubed minus 4, where x is 5, it’s logical that any of his indiscretions of the previous day were due to simple restlessness, which 5 represents.
I wasn’t sure who to do next, so I rolled a bunch of dice and got a total of 25. From there, goltar25 seemed to fit the bill, so I went back to natal charts here, since using three methods is auspicious. Much to my horror, his June 1
â€joinâ€birthdate makes him a Gemini, who can act two-faced, and worse yet, it yielded a chart that features Mercury at 295 degrees and Jupiter at 335 degrees, with others scattered wildly. As is known, this represents a grave threat to all those around him!
There are more numbers to be deciphered, to be sure, but I'm quite convinced that what I've seen already in my magic 8-ball is enough to point towards involvement of the Mafia in our own little town!
Vote goltar25