OT: PD2: Everyone Makes Mistakes

[memememe173]

This one so out of the box I likededed it.

Q: How many Irishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

:lol: :lol: these are great

 

[proudfoot]

A skeleton walks into a bar.

"Give me a rum and a mop."


*sigh*

 

[Ash Housewares1]

I have $70, pick a RPG for me to get, but if I pay per month no way.

if you have PS2 then definitely Disgaea, or you could wait for the upcoming flood

Shining Force GBA
Front Mission 4 PS2
La Pucelle PS2
and Tales is still a ways away

 

[Æ’enris]

Lame. This one's gross.
Q: What do you call a leper in a Jacuzzi?
A: Soup.

 

[Bob_TheMadCow]

Grr. MP Sacred has just got me worked up and annoyed :rant:

Stupid confused higgeldy-piggeldy mess.

Ok, I'm mostly pissed off cause someone stole my quest reward sword by joining my game and getting the quest reward without having done the quest.

I think I'll stick to SP until Asceron get some sort of system going where by you can create games, password protect game, find your friends, chat to people, get the rewards for the quests you do... that kinda stuff :rant:

I'm gonna go play Sacred SP where I don;t have to worry about other people stealing off me or not know what the hell the plot is or any of that other crap.

 

[junglejim]

A person walks into a bar with an Ostrish on a leash & orders a beer.

The bar tender asks for $3.75, upon which the patron reaches into his pocket, pulls out a fist of coins and without looking slaps them on the bar.

The bar tender looks at the money and realizes that it's exactly $3.75.

Later the patron asks for some nachos & another beer.

The bar tender delivers the food and asks for $7.37 upon which the patron again reaches into his pocket and pulls out a fist of cash and slaps it on the bar.

The bar tender looks through the money and tells the patron them that they have a real gift.

The patron says, "Nah, I found a lamp and while I was cleaning it up a Genie appeared. The Genie granted me 2 wishes. My first wish was to be able to reach into my pocket and pull out exactly the amount that I need".

Upon hearing this the bar tender gushed forth "why that's perhaps the smartest thing I ever heard. You'll never run out of money & you don't need to worry about being robbed! So what was your second wish?"

and the patron's reply was "A chick with long legs."

 

[Æ’enris]

Q: What do you call four sheep tied to a post in Greece?
A: A brothel.

lol.

 

[Bob_TheMadCow]

A person walks into a bar with an Ostrish on a leash & orders a beer.
<snip>
and the patron's reply was "A chick with long legs."

I know a far ruder version of this. It involves a foul-tempered dwarf who refuses to pay for anything...

(a bird with long legs and a small tight **** )

 

[Æ’enris]

I know a far ruder version of this. It involves a foul-tempered dwarf who refuses to pay for anything...

(a bird with long legs and a small tight **** )

I spent too much time thinking about that.

An American tourist went into a restaurant in a Spanish provincial city for dinner, and asked to be served the specialty of the house. When the dish arrived, he asked what kind of meat it contained. "Señor, these are the cojones," the waiter replied. "The what?" the tourist exclaimed. "They are the testicles of the bull killed in the ring today," said the waiter. The tourist gulped, but tasted the dish anyway. He found it delicious. Returning the following evening, he asked for the same dish. After he finished, the tourist commented to the waiter, "Today's cojones are much saltier and smaller than the ones I had yesterday." "True, señor," agreed the waiter. "You see, the bull, he does not always lose."

 

[junglejim]

A proton runs into a bar in hysterics.

The bar tender says "slow down, what's the problem?".

The proton replies "I've lost my electron!"

The bar tender says "Are you sure?"

The proton affirms "Yup, I'm positive!"

 

[memememe173]

edit: nvm i got it

 

[junglejim]

How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one, BUT the lightbulb has to "really want to change."

 

[junglejim]

How many Real Men (tm) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None! Real Men (tm) aren't afraid of the dark.

 

[TheKbob]

BTW fuzzy friends, if you could help.. thanks!

Trangs Trade

~Kbob

 

[Æ’enris]

Two elderly ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. The lady asked, "What's that?" "A condom," the other lady responded. "This way my cigarette doesn't get wet." "Where did you get it?" the other lady asked. "You can get them at any drugstore." The next day, the first lady hobbled herself down to the local drugstore and announced to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looked at her kind of strangely, but politely asks what brand she prefers. "It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel." The pharmacist fainted.

 

[memememe173]

I'll have more funny names in a bit...but for now..


Harry ****


ya, that's lame I know

 

[proudfoot]

Incredibly.

Nice smoking joke.

 

[TheKbob]

A young man had finally gotten what he had always wanted. A date with this cute girl he always wanted to go out with. The young couple fell in love and soon, it seemed that she was ready to "make some moves."

She said: "I want to have some real fun, but first, you gotta meet Mommy and Daddy."

Guy Said:"Sure!" (what man wouldn't?)

Then he realized that he needed some condoms because he didn't want any accidents. He goes to the local pharmecy and stands infront of the rack of weinie wrappers, puzzled and confused. The pharmecist comes by and ask if he can help him. The young boy explains his predicament and the pharmecist easily points out a nice brand. The young man leaves with high hopes.

Later that night, He comes to her house. The mother greats him and says dinner is already ready. They sit down at the table and the mother askes if he, the young man would read grace. He begins... and goes on... and on... and on... After almost fifteen minutes, the girl leans over and says:
"Wow, I didn't know you were so religious!"
He replies:
"Wow, I didn't know your dad was a pharmecist!"

~Kbob

 

[proudfoot]

Heard it before.

 

[Dolph]

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Natalie," the man replied. "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No, I must see Natalie," was the man's reply. Just then, Natalie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out one thousand dollars, gave it to Natalie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left. The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Natalie. Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row because of the high price. Again, the man pulled out a thousand dollars, gave it to Natalie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left. The following night, the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had stopped in for the third consecutive night, but he paid Natalie and they went upstairs. After their session, Natalie questioned the man. "No one has ever hired me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked. The man replied, "South Carolina." "Really," she said. "I have family in South Carolina." "I know," the man said. "Your father died and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

haha, brothel...