101 most stupid things a noob does & askes

Came across two great examples last night

All in one game, no less. Typical baal run, all the usual suspects.

XxtrapzzpwnzjooxX: hey trapsin how much damage u do?
me: 5200
XxtrapzzpwnzjooxX: LOL me 6400

10 seconds later: XxtrapzzpwnzjooxX slain by hydra

XxtrapzzpwnzjooxX LAG

me: resists are overrated

Now here comes some barb talking about his MF-ing prowess

XoMeKillULotzzzxoX: I find SOJs all the time
me: Andy runs?
XoMeKillULotzzzxoX: My MF sorc has 2000 mf highest u can have
me: how?
XoMeKillULotzzzxoX: LOTS AND LOTS OF MF GEAR!!!!

So I'm thinking that it *might* be possible to have 900 - 1000 mf on a sorc (why you would want to is of course another questions), imagining what one might look like (gotta pump str a lot for that 4-ist monarch) probably running around with something like -50 resists in hell.

I wanted to press him on what his gear was and to ask him to walk me throught the math, but I was too tired and went to another game.
 
These assholes with thieir maphack keep asking "what u want for gores" These people are newbies because they don't know the difference between a trading game and an exp game. And there needs to be a hack that blocks hacks.

Also, I don't think I've won a single public duel where "lag" wasn't my reason for winning. Maybe my items give +lag or something.
 
Clueless

Not incredibly stupid but none-too-smart either:

"Is Breath of the Dying better than BotD?"
"Is a Shako better than that crappy Harlequin Crest?"
"What's a rune?"
"What kind of weapon is a PK?"

Sigh...it almost makes me want to completely abandon the game.
 
Come across a game called *Help Act II

I enter the game.

Me:Do you need help?

Nub: Yes

Me: Do you have a cube?

Nub: Yes

Me: Do you have the full staff?

Nub: Yes

Me: What is the symbol?

Nub:???

Me: Have you killed Horazon?

Nub:???

Me: Nevermind. *goes to arcane and finds Horazon

Me: Tp is up

Nub:???

Me: ENTER THE TP!!!

Nub: I don't see the TP

Me: Where are u?

Nub: In the barracks.

Me: Get to Act II

Nub: I haven't killed Andy yet.

Me *Bangs head against keyboard and Hostiles the nub and hunts him down and kills him.



**Nothing beat the time DC, Shinnok and I were in Lut Golien and I needed Radament. Dude in the party was in Sewers 3 and We started calling out for a tp. He ignored us. So DC and Shinnok went inside and as soon as they were close we changed parties and hostiled him. Killed him and then did the quest and he didn't get his book! It's not wise to mess with the wisemen.

R++
 
My advice to noobs...


Never run into a tp in Baal's Throne room unless you know its clear.



Unless we're competing to see who can kill the most of you by doing that, in which case by all means run right in.


*Norm Baal TP Champ right here baby. R++ NM champ, hats off*
 
getting killed by a quill rat in a public dueling game in whatever mode ... that is one of the most noobish things that could possibly happen. the same player who gets killed by a quill rat starts spamming the most pitiful of excuses (e.g. lolz outta mana, etc. etc.)
 
i absolutely love this thread lol.....

story #2

one more to add, summon necros that lag the game during cow runs/ tal tomb runs and refuse to unsummon his skeletions.

rusher kills necro.....either that or the lag is so bad....the necro dies himself lol

story #3

*noob* you sell shako for 15 pg?
*me* yeah
*noob* how much defence?
*me* 12X
*noob* how about 13 pg?
*me* no
*noob* 14 pg?
*me* *logs off*
 
Joined a game with my Mangudai. Simple Act 3 Hell Questing. For those of you that don't know what a Mangudai is, my guide for one is currently stickied in the Barb Forum. For the lazy people, its a Bow-wielding Barb.

Anyway, the game had a Zon in it, along with a Werebear Druid. When I got a TP from the Druid, I had my two Echoing Sticks out, did my normal S/B/C routine, and switched back to Witchwild String. The Zon, who was using a BotD, began to notice that I was shooting out Magic Arrows. Like most people on Bnet, they asumed it was Guided, as in Widowmaker. However, this Zon either missed the memo about Widowmaker or simply did not know that there was a skill called magic arrow. She began to ask what hack I was using. I told her that it wasn't it a hack, it was a weapon that could shoot Magic Arrows. Since a cool head was used against her, and the fact punctuation must have been one of her taboos, she does a "HAX!!!!111" spam. The druid, who was standing by, chimed in that even though the Zon was using her BotD, the Barb was finishing things up faster than she was. The Hostile chime rang out. So me and the Druid waited for her at the entrance to Travincal. A few minutes roll by and her little X appeared. More spamming continued as she started to fire off her Multi at us, but neither me or the Druid got hit. FInally, the druid asked if he wanted to kill or if I should. I leaped towards her, but stayed on the small platform and began to shoot Witchwild at her. Her guided did land, but for someone that was using a BotD, it was surprisingly weak. She, on the other hand, took 4 Magic Arrows and dropped. More spam. By this time, the Druid was cracking up that a Zon lost a bow fight to a Barb and left. I did the same a few seconds later.
 
lmao some of these are too funny, i unfortunately dont have any that can compare with this, i wont taint this nice assortment with some stupid joke ;)

some of my favorites were the necro w/ enigma and the one w/ titans and "noob" spamming

hmm, i think we should make a poll, which are more annoying, tp spammers or pp spammers? :D
 
Noob joins game.

Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

Person has invited you to join the party.

Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

Person1 opens a TP.
Noob goes in.
Noob was slain by Pindle's minions.

Noob: WTF!!!
Person1: You wanted a TP.
Noob: STFU NOOB!

Noob goes in.
Noob was slain by Pindle's minions.

Noob: SOMEONE HELP GET MY BODY!!!!!!111111111
Person2: Next time read the freaken tp.

Person opens Throne TP.
Noob goes into Throne TP.
Noob was slain by Doom Knights.

Noob: WTF!!!111111111
Noob: Clear the TP!!!!!!!11111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Person: No!
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
All: No!

Person goes into town hostiles Noob.
Noob has left the game.
 
Runesi said:
Noob joins game.

Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: PP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

Person has invited you to join the party.

Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111
Noob: TP!!!!!!!!!!11111111111

Person1 opens a TP.
Noob goes in.
Noob was slain by Pindle's minions.

Noob: WTF!!!
Person1: You wanted a TP.
Noob: STFU NOOB!

Noob goes in.
Noob was slain by Pindle's minions.

Noob: SOMEONE HELP GET MY BODY!!!!!!111111111
Person2: Next time read the freaken tp.

Person opens Throne TP.
Noob goes into Throne TP.
Noob was slain by Doom Knights.

Noob: WTF!!!111111111
Noob: Clear the TP!!!!!!!11111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Person: No!
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
Noob: IS IT CLEAR YET?!?!!1111111111
All: No!

Person goes into town hostiles Noob.
Noob has left the game.
Click to expand...

You are describing the exact phenomenon that allowed me to rack up 39 kills in a game. Teled to the throne, opened a tp for the morons demanding one, and they piled right through...right into the two boss packs of fanat, LE, ESEF venom lords and death knights. Serves em right. The fun part was when they kept comin in naked to get their bodies. 15 times. The pile of purple x's on my map had me laughing so hard I was crying. Stupid people.
 
DrunkCajun said:
The fun part was when they kept comin in naked to get their bodies. 15 times. The pile of purple x's on my map had me laughing so hard I was crying. Stupid people.
Click to expand...

Now that got me laughing my ******** off~!

Good one lad!

You just made my day :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 
DrunkCajun said:
You are describing the exact phenomenon that allowed me to rack up 39 kills in a game. Teled to the throne, opened a tp for the morons demanding one, and they piled right through...right into the two boss packs of fanat, LE, ESEF venom lords and death knights. Serves em right. The fun part was when they kept comin in naked to get their bodies. 15 times. The pile of purple x's on my map had me laughing so hard I was crying. Stupid people.
Click to expand...

Haha. That's hilarious. I should do that sometime. :clap:
 
rplusplus said:
Come across a game called *Help Act II

I enter the game.

Me:Do you need help?

Nub: Yes

Me: Do you have a cube?

Nub: Yes

Me: Do you have the full staff?

Nub: Yes

Me: What is the symbol?

Nub:???

Me: Have you killed Horazon?

Nub:???

Me: Nevermind. *goes to arcane and finds Horazon

Me: Tp is up

Nub:???

Me: ENTER THE TP!!!

Nub: I don't see the TP

Me: Where are u?

Nub: In the barracks.

Me: Get to Act II

Nub: I haven't killed Andy yet.

Me *Bangs head against keyboard and Hostiles the nub and hunts him down and kills him.
Click to expand...

Haha, i think i just died laughing.... thats just too funny. :lol: :lol: :lol:


anyway, i did something like that not 3 weeks ago. to be fair to myself i had been writing a research paper for 5 hours and desperately needed a break.
i brought in a ~20 sorc to a tristram game (when i intended to join travincal.). i asked once for a tp...waited....nothing. asked again, and like 2 people say they are up. i hit p (party; to make sure they are in the right act...*sigh*) get confused and say, i dont see any tps here.
bout 10 sec later it hits me...i felt like such an idiot ^.^. a few of em spammed me for it tho :/

Edit: haha yuqing, im definitely going to try that next chance i get. :worship:
 
Stranger: OMG DON'T MAKE ME GET MY BARB AT YOU
....
Stranger dies (no naked killing, fair match)

Stranger: NOOB. TAKE 4 HIT TO KILL ME NOOB. LOL WEEAK!!
....
Stranger dies.. yet again

Stranger: OK I GET BARB. BRB
...
He gets his level 91 barb in a LOW LEVEL duel game. Everyone was 30-45.

It's a wonder how humans can act so pathetic..
 
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