101 most stupid things a noob does & askes

[yuqing]

101 most stupid things a noob does & askes

I get back from my vacation and suddenly i realise, i have lost the hang of my character, some noobs regonize be from b4 and asked me some dumb questions, and thats what inspired this topic.
Post stupid quoets and questions here until we reach 101, ill start us off.

1-After feeling sorry for a noob and giving him some crappy item like gbane he comes back and asks for ________ <- Insert enigma, coh, etc

2-After you loss a dual to some lower lvl: "OMG, I TAUGHGT U PROZOR, U FKING LIAH"

3- Playing with a lower resolution you attack from a distance and the guy thinks you scroll. "OMG, SCROLLER, IMA REPORT UNLESS YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD" "Go ahead and report, i just made my screen smaller"
"SO? The blizzard ppl are idiots, they dont know that."

 

[miroba]

4. make cow games with the title "cows you make"
when the only ppl who can make cow games are in nightmare
and nightmare ppl cant see normal games... then everybody stands
around waiting​

:scratch:

 

[CHOOOCHOOO]

Noob was slain by Dueler
Noob: .F M Hey dave you know our friend that has Brute right?

 

[hamstring21]

Top 10 favorite questions of noobs in Asia1 chat:

1. I'm new. Anybody has free stuff?
2. Who has IK body?
3. Who has tal armor?
4. Wat is enigma?
5. Can i trade your enigma?
6. lum rune for your 45% wt?
7. plz plz plz plz plz plz plz?
8. can anybody rush me?
9. where can i get a zod?
10. what armor are you wearing?

honarable mention: what sword r u using?

 

[mhl12]

i go in a pubby duel game wit my tesladin and theres this light sorc..

i have maxed 95 light resists and only light absorb from tgods... (needed the +20 strength bonus and gloams get really annoying..)

so i just charge lock and kill the sorc... next thing she goes something like this:

sorc: wtf noob? u using 2 wisps.. ur so cheap..
me: no... im wearing carrion ring and dwarf star...
sorc: dont lie.. u just switched to carrion.. my mh sees all..
me: (getting really annoyed).. um no i dont have wisp.. the only light absorb i have is tgods but i need the strenght bonus.
sorc: w/e nub...

 

[TheGreatDivorce]

Run to Akara, kid.

 

[Seaskye]

Noob you using Titans
Me Yes
Noob where you find them ?
Me I've only found this one set NM tristran
Noob Can you get me a set.
Me I've only found this one in 3 years of playing.
Noob can you give them to me?
Me exits game .

Seaskye

 

[TurbulentTurtle]

Any person who asks for items in a rude manner, or expects items because of their "noobness" is pretty childish in my books.
Also anyone who uses the term "noob" way too often.

 

[space_loner]

LOL, you don't have to find newbs if you don't really want to, you know. They are like seagulls, and live in crowds at selected places:
public dueling games
rushing games
freebie games (the economy of MFers that depend on games such as free enigma8 or free account 11 generally get rich off the time newbs waste. I mean, when you get to 11, you are bound to have run out of accounts by now?)
games that teach maphack, duping, or anything else that the newbs think they alone can get away with.
*note my spelling of noobs*

my favourite all time newbness has always been: I kill a boss or monster, it drops an item, and the noobs grab it. Especially annoying is if the item was a charm or a unique with very varying stats, so he would spam
MWHAHAHA PCOMBAT SKILLER thx man MWHAHAHAHAHA PCOMBAT SKILLER
or
32020 MUHAHAH #@)@)@ (?) MUHAHAHA 3202020
or
PERFECT GOLDSTRIKE ARCH MUHAHAHAHA

even funnier is when the killer is a noob also and starts spamming

OMG MINE GIVE ME DARN YOU GIVE ME ME MEM MEMEME

but the best one so far i've seen is when my kill dropped a unique mage plate (heavenly garb), some complete noob grabs it, and starts shouting

ENIGMA YAY YAY sucker YAY YAY ENIGMA

 

[Lord_Shinnok]

1) TELE SORC!11!!1!!!1!!!!
2) PALY TLEE PLZ111!111!!!!!1!!
3) GIB ME FRE!11!1!1!1!!
4) I got hacked can i have fre anni?!1!!!!1

 

[Gorny1]

1) TELE SORC!11!!1!!!1!!!!
2) PALY TLEE PLZ111!111!!!!!1!!
3) GIB ME FRE!11!1!1!1!!
4) I got hacked can i have fre anni?!1!!!!1

5) I beat Aragorn!

 

[5Ws]

1) TELE SORC!11!!1!!!1!!!!
2) PALY TLEE PLZ111!111!!!!!1!!
3) GIB ME FRE!11!1!1!1!!
4) I got hacked can i have fre anni?!1!!!!1

HA, you just called yourself a noob, HA!

 

[DrunkCajun]

1) TELE SORC!11!!1!!!1!!!!
2) PALY TLEE PLZ111!111!!!!!1!!
3) GIB ME FRE!11!1!1!1!!
4) I got hacked can i have fre anni?!1!!!!1

The best part of this is that we spent the evening last night with R++, 5Ws, Shinnok and I scaring people out of my pubby Baal runs by spamming exactly that sort of stuff. It was amusing to see how many people didn't bother to stay through the whole run. I've never been so amused by Baal running in all my Diablo playing career.

 

[EagleCros]

Hell rush for forge game, I am the rusher. Noob breaks the soulstone in the forge, grabs the io that drops and exits game.

 

[SquaLL3]

Run to Akara, kid.

Lol. 10 chars

 

[Sharaz]

whats wrong with my sockets?

 

[5Ws]

The best part of this is that we spent the evening last night with R++, 5Ws, Shinnok and I scaring people out of my pubby Baal runs by spamming exactly that sort of stuff. It was amusing to see how many people didn't bother to stay through the whole run. I've never been so amused by Baal running in all my Diablo playing career.

definitely, i was laughing my *** off 90% of the time...best baal runs ever, hands down.

 

[yuqing]

ok, what numbers are we at here?

a few more

- HEY NEC, How can u tele? Nec: Enigma. Noob: hmm, or a tele hack, tell you what, gimme that flail of urs and we'll call it even, think about it, a crappy flail (points to 40 res hoto) in exchange for me not reporting and banning ur account. GREAT DEAL MAN! Nec: I TOLD YOU ITS ENIGMA, ILL EVEN SHOW U!
Noob: wtf is enigma?!?!

 

[rg_22uk]

1 rusher (doing it for free) and 2 rushee's (me and noob):

*rusher is teleing to act 2 staff*
Noob: Tp tp tp tp tp!
Me: He's gonna do it when he gets there
Noob: Tp tp tp tp tp!
Rusher: Stop spamming!
Noob: Tp tp tp tp tp!
Rusher: Stop spamming or i will leave party
Noob: Tp tp tp tp tp!
Rusher: Fine, i will leave party!
*rusher leaves party and makes new party with me*
Noob: WTF! Noooooooooooooooooooob!

 

[Set]

arg I hate TP spammers, I was doing a baal run with a few freinds once and this one noob came in and started spamming tp because the only tp up was at the ent. to the throne of destruction and I guess he dident want to run the whole way. So finnaly getting fed up I opened a tp in the middle of the pack of Minions of destruction....fun times.

Then there are always the ones begging for the BOTD because I have 2 (I use 1 merc uses other) and they think they have some right to have one.


on the plus side there are still some nice ppl on battle net. Why some guy yesterday gave me the IK boots. We were gonna trade for them but I diden't have anything he needed so he just gave them to me. I diden't even ask him either he just dropped em for me.