I did basically the same thing with my very first D2 character. I chose a Barbarian because so many RPGs are really hard in the beginning if you're not a strong fighter class, so that's what I did. Didn't realize at all how D2 was set up. I put too many points into strength, a few points into energy (every point spent on energy is a waste, for most character classes except Sorcs; even then it's not often the best use of your points), too many into dexterity (not knowing what dex did), and not nearly enough into vitality. I spent my skill points randomly too, eventually focusing on concentrate, axe mastery, natural resistance, and iron skin (a bad move since lots of points in nat. resists nets you very little extra). I knew nothing of synergies and I had only the vaguest idea of which item attributes were useful (much less the idea that your character's prowess in the game is determined almost entirely by his/her items).
So yeah, unless you go with a strict build guide, your first character is likely to be a mess because you just don't know what to do. It's a good learning experience - your next character will be much better, I'm sure of it. I'd say don't worry too much about how far your Barb gets for now. If you're stuck in NM, there's nothing wrong with shelving him and starting a new character, maybe more of a cookie-cutter or at least a spellcaster that doesn't rely on high damage weapons to excel. You don't even have to stop working on your barb entirely, just use your caster to find more items for your barb to use.
It just sounds like you're really really intent on continuing with this build but you have to be willing to say "whoops, I screwed up, time to try again." If anything it'll save you from any future problems with high blood pressure. Obviously you can keep playing him if you want, you just sound frustrated and I don't think you need to be.
