Your worst D2 joke

[DurfBarian]

A: Hey, did you see that new guy in camp?

B: Who, the necromancer?

A: Yeah, the skinny guy. Looks like a twig, and he's about as sturdy. I saw him holding his arm after he bumped into Charsi; I think he might have broken something.

B: Pretty brittle. But still, I think the guy has been doing some fighting. Did you get a look at his hands and feet?

A: No, why?

B: They are really hard. I swear he looks like he's been learning fighting from assassins. Lots of tough skin built up on him.

A: I'm not so sure about that. I don't think this guy is a melee man. Definitely uses a lot of magical attacks, and probably poison.

B: How do you know that?

A: His breath could fell a camp full of Fallen at fifty paces. The only guys who smell that horrible are masters of the poisonous arts.

B: Well, he's pretty easy to sum up, in any case.

A and B, together: A super-calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis!

 

[DougTheHead2]

:clap:

Those are just freakin' awesome, Durf. Many lol's to you!

 

[PinkeyandtheBrain]

continueing on durfs vein


Ok so a necromancer walks into a morgue, and says to the morgue master "hey buddie i need a stiff one" (no fb not a 5 soc dagger )

 

[sirpoopsalot]

Dang Durf, you're hard to follow, but the topic of the thread is a little closer to my vein...

I get excited every time I run into an Armor shrine

 

[Disco-neck Ted]

Er... you do realize Durf is not making these up? He's adapting shaggy dog stories to fit D2. Which is cool... but he's violating the spirit of the thread because his jokes are actually good!

Just FYI, that last one was originally told about Gandhi, not a necromancer.

 

[DurfBarian]

Just FYI, that last one was originally told about Gandhi, not a necromancer.

For my next act I was going to adapt the "purple box, purple box!" joke to the Sanctuary world, but that was just too much typing.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Anya.

Anya who?

Anya glad I didn't type out that huge long joke to inflict upon this thread?

 

[Disco-neck Ted]

Knocker: *knock knock*

Elzix: Is it that Atma biotch again?

Knocker: No.

Elzix: Dave's not here!

 

[PinkeyandtheBrain]

Er... you do realize Durf is not making these up? He's adapting shaggy dog stories to fit D2. Which is cool... but he's violating the spirit of the thread because his jokes are actually good!

Just FYI, that last one was originally told about Gandhi, not a necromancer.

mine?? hmm i did not know that

 

[DurfBarian]

Knocker: *knock knock*

"Candygram!"

"You can't fool me, you're that clever Yeti!"

"I'm just a monkey, ma'am."

 

[sunbearie]

"Candygram!"

"You can't fool me, you're that clever Yeti!"

"I'm just a monkey, ma'am."

Sheesh, you mean you didn't think all this up by yourself durf?

 

[Disco-neck Ted]

mine?? hmm i did not know that

Yeah, most people don't realize Gandhi hung out in mortuaries all the time.

HA! Sorry for the confusion, I meant the super calloused mystic was Gandhi.

 

[drinkturps]

Knock Knock?

Who's there?

Cain.

Cain who?

Cain who please go away and come back with a decent joke.

*groans*

 

[Minor_Deity]

I always appreciated this one. It's my personal worst.

You've sussed out the name, that just leaves the 'tar to decrypt.

Now the name I always missed until it was explained but the 'tar I have always known and loved.

Now, I wanna show you a trick Mother taught me when you weren't around.
*disappears in a Puff-o-Smoke[font=&quot]â„¢[/font]*