Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?
Hi, I'm a born loser.
Now that formalities are out of the way let's get down to bizzness.
It's a been many a year since I've played Diablo 2. And even back when I did play I didn't spend my every waking moment entrenched in its death grip like you freaks here. I, instead, opted for the more productive lifestyle of shooting black tar heroin.
My life as of late has been on a reversed upturn and I now find myself comfortably sitting at home with the lights back on and a borrowed laptop sitting on my, can you guess it? Yep, the arm of my couch.
This laptop is old ****, but you wouldn't know it from the sound of the cogs still chugging in this baby. Unlike me, they refuse to quit!
I find myself with only one game to play. Can you guess it? Yep, the "Can my **** find my hand before my hand finds my asshole?" game. Also, I have Diablo 2.
And, sad as it is to say, I found the idea of playing the game again old, tired, and trivial. But I was sitting here the other night finishing off an 18 pack and thought to myself: ****, my life sucks. I wonder if people still play Diablo.
And surprisingly found there is quite an active community still. Also found, to my amusement, a forthcoming patch that has hit the ptr. And for my amusement I called my ex-girlfriend and told her I've got aids and that she should start planning the last six months of her life as well.
So I installed diablo 2 again, and after a trip of stumbling to the fridge and realizing all my beer was gone, the game was up and running. And a thought occurred to me: You know, I could use another beer. And after returning from my second trip to the fridge I thought: You know, I've never played HC. Maybe that's just the excitement my life could use right now. Imagine running around with only one life to live! I know that seems outlandish and a bit strange, but one life, only one life to live! Holy ****! That's scary!
So I quickly constructed a waterwheel to squeeze a little more juice out of my laptop and ventured to the character select screen where I eventually passed out due to my inebriation.
After waking up this morning and removing my hand from my asshole, I began reading up on all these different guides and finding myself becoming confused quickly with all this equipment and item mumbo-jumbo. Never ventured much into that territory. Instead, I spend my quality time telling high school girls at the local grocery store how if I was 10 years younger I'd be sweeping them off their feet and taking them to the local drug den for the dealers to run a train on 'em while I get high.
So lend me your ears, fellow travelers, as I seek your council and guidance. I've never participated in ladder play and want to make a stalwart attempt at it on HC when the new patch arrives. So I implore you tell me what would be a safe and easy character to get me started on my adventure. Mind you, I'm a bit impatient and don't place in high regard my well-being when playing. So what build would be a little foolproof, or one rather forgiving. I have a tendency for sensory overload at times where I'm usually watching tv or I'm talking on the phone to myself. So my attention becomes a bit divided.
Anyways, to make a long story longer: What would be the safest character build to go with to help me get rolling on HC ladder when the patch comes?
I appreciate your time and consideration. I will now pass the Stick of Speaking to the next off-kilter individual.
But if I may leave you with one thing if nothing, know this: In all of my 26 years of living, in this world of ever-changing chaos, only one thing has remained constant and true. Never, under any circumstance.. oh wait, my **** found my hand! Later.
Hi, I'm a born loser.
Now that formalities are out of the way let's get down to bizzness.
It's a been many a year since I've played Diablo 2. And even back when I did play I didn't spend my every waking moment entrenched in its death grip like you freaks here. I, instead, opted for the more productive lifestyle of shooting black tar heroin.
My life as of late has been on a reversed upturn and I now find myself comfortably sitting at home with the lights back on and a borrowed laptop sitting on my, can you guess it? Yep, the arm of my couch.
This laptop is old ****, but you wouldn't know it from the sound of the cogs still chugging in this baby. Unlike me, they refuse to quit!
I find myself with only one game to play. Can you guess it? Yep, the "Can my **** find my hand before my hand finds my asshole?" game. Also, I have Diablo 2.
And, sad as it is to say, I found the idea of playing the game again old, tired, and trivial. But I was sitting here the other night finishing off an 18 pack and thought to myself: ****, my life sucks. I wonder if people still play Diablo.
And surprisingly found there is quite an active community still. Also found, to my amusement, a forthcoming patch that has hit the ptr. And for my amusement I called my ex-girlfriend and told her I've got aids and that she should start planning the last six months of her life as well.
So I installed diablo 2 again, and after a trip of stumbling to the fridge and realizing all my beer was gone, the game was up and running. And a thought occurred to me: You know, I could use another beer. And after returning from my second trip to the fridge I thought: You know, I've never played HC. Maybe that's just the excitement my life could use right now. Imagine running around with only one life to live! I know that seems outlandish and a bit strange, but one life, only one life to live! Holy ****! That's scary!
So I quickly constructed a waterwheel to squeeze a little more juice out of my laptop and ventured to the character select screen where I eventually passed out due to my inebriation.
After waking up this morning and removing my hand from my asshole, I began reading up on all these different guides and finding myself becoming confused quickly with all this equipment and item mumbo-jumbo. Never ventured much into that territory. Instead, I spend my quality time telling high school girls at the local grocery store how if I was 10 years younger I'd be sweeping them off their feet and taking them to the local drug den for the dealers to run a train on 'em while I get high.
So lend me your ears, fellow travelers, as I seek your council and guidance. I've never participated in ladder play and want to make a stalwart attempt at it on HC when the new patch arrives. So I implore you tell me what would be a safe and easy character to get me started on my adventure. Mind you, I'm a bit impatient and don't place in high regard my well-being when playing. So what build would be a little foolproof, or one rather forgiving. I have a tendency for sensory overload at times where I'm usually watching tv or I'm talking on the phone to myself. So my attention becomes a bit divided.
Anyways, to make a long story longer: What would be the safest character build to go with to help me get rolling on HC ladder when the patch comes?
I appreciate your time and consideration. I will now pass the Stick of Speaking to the next off-kilter individual.
But if I may leave you with one thing if nothing, know this: In all of my 26 years of living, in this world of ever-changing chaos, only one thing has remained constant and true. Never, under any circumstance.. oh wait, my **** found my hand! Later.