Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

peonjohn

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Dec 21, 2009
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Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

Hi, I'm a born loser.

Now that formalities are out of the way let's get down to bizzness.

It's a been many a year since I've played Diablo 2. And even back when I did play I didn't spend my every waking moment entrenched in its death grip like you freaks here. I, instead, opted for the more productive lifestyle of shooting black tar heroin.

My life as of late has been on a reversed upturn and I now find myself comfortably sitting at home with the lights back on and a borrowed laptop sitting on my, can you guess it? Yep, the arm of my couch.

This laptop is old ****, but you wouldn't know it from the sound of the cogs still chugging in this baby. Unlike me, they refuse to quit!

I find myself with only one game to play. Can you guess it? Yep, the "Can my **** find my hand before my hand finds my asshole?" game. Also, I have Diablo 2.

And, sad as it is to say, I found the idea of playing the game again old, tired, and trivial. But I was sitting here the other night finishing off an 18 pack and thought to myself: ****, my life sucks. I wonder if people still play Diablo.

And surprisingly found there is quite an active community still. Also found, to my amusement, a forthcoming patch that has hit the ptr. And for my amusement I called my ex-girlfriend and told her I've got aids and that she should start planning the last six months of her life as well.

So I installed diablo 2 again, and after a trip of stumbling to the fridge and realizing all my beer was gone, the game was up and running. And a thought occurred to me: You know, I could use another beer. And after returning from my second trip to the fridge I thought: You know, I've never played HC. Maybe that's just the excitement my life could use right now. Imagine running around with only one life to live! I know that seems outlandish and a bit strange, but one life, only one life to live! Holy ****! That's scary!

So I quickly constructed a waterwheel to squeeze a little more juice out of my laptop and ventured to the character select screen where I eventually passed out due to my inebriation.

After waking up this morning and removing my hand from my asshole, I began reading up on all these different guides and finding myself becoming confused quickly with all this equipment and item mumbo-jumbo. Never ventured much into that territory. Instead, I spend my quality time telling high school girls at the local grocery store how if I was 10 years younger I'd be sweeping them off their feet and taking them to the local drug den for the dealers to run a train on 'em while I get high.

So lend me your ears, fellow travelers, as I seek your council and guidance. I've never participated in ladder play and want to make a stalwart attempt at it on HC when the new patch arrives. So I implore you tell me what would be a safe and easy character to get me started on my adventure. Mind you, I'm a bit impatient and don't place in high regard my well-being when playing. So what build would be a little foolproof, or one rather forgiving. I have a tendency for sensory overload at times where I'm usually watching tv or I'm talking on the phone to myself. So my attention becomes a bit divided.

Anyways, to make a long story longer: What would be the safest character build to go with to help me get rolling on HC ladder when the patch comes?

I appreciate your time and consideration. I will now pass the Stick of Speaking to the next off-kilter individual.

But if I may leave you with one thing if nothing, know this: In all of my 26 years of living, in this world of ever-changing chaos, only one thing has remained constant and true. Never, under any circumstance.. oh wait, my **** found my hand! Later.
 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

Ahh, well. I will be the first to reply to myself by saying, "why don't you first read the faq, asshole, before you start posting nonsensical trite that has been asked time and time again?!"

And I will respond to myself by saying, "As everything else I do in life, it is with this I do backwards as well."

So, keeping with this trend, my wealth of knowledge I will continue to unlearn in a fashionable manner.

PS: I'm editing this post, because I now realize I could have just edited my first post instead of spamming an additional post. I hereby move that the op be reprimanded and dealt with sharply and justly, but taking into consideration I am the op, let's just let this one squeeze, shall we?

Also, Brittany Murphy dead at 32.
 
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Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

My friend, if Hunter S. Thompson had been born a few years later, and had therefore been "into video games", he'd probably sound a lot like you.

That's a compliment, by the way.

And as for Diablo while on drugs (or smashed out of your mind on booze), well, that's a survival tactic for anyone brave / foolish / zonked enough, to try public Hardcore games on the Realms. I mean, the PKers can't really get a thrill, by ganking someone so stoned that each one of those little pixels blends into a cosmic consciousness blur.

"Lucy In The Sky, With PDiamonds", Man! <-- to the tone of Cheech n' Chong

:crazyeyes:

Mr. Bill
 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

So it's ok for me to laugh my *** off at peonjohn's posts then? Good...

Try a Summon Necro dude...no matter how mashed you are you can't get one killed...as long as you remember the minions go first, then you follow!
 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

Well, surely I jest about my ingestion of chemical substances. I'm not really a junkie. I just delve in occasion to add a little spice to my more mundane chores, such as when I collect potatoes from my garden or rearrange the air currents in my house.

But I do, however, enjoy the occasional brew. And I've a tendency to pack several occasions into one sitting. And I've a habit of combining several sittings in one night.

I've recently went to drinking red wine to add a sense of sophistication to my stupor.

Anyways, about the game. Yeah, I read there's some trouble with playing with people online who can stab you in the back and you fall over dead. So I've decided to take the lone traveler road as for now considering it's hc and I've only gots one life to live.

And I went with the suggestion of the summoner necro, who's been extremely easy to play with up to this point. And actually I have only had to use one hand for playing as of now leaving my other hand free to occasionally jab myself in the kidney with, because, hey, who doesn't like to piss blood?

He's up to level 17 at the moment and making his way through the maggot lair. I would have completed that quest before logging out, but I experienced terrible lag, and, wouldn't you know it, it was right when I had entered a room of beetles. Also, wouldn't you know it, a terd just rolled out the ankle of my pants.

I chalked this up to being just a downside of playing on the battle.net server and that I shouldn't get mad about it because it's expected from time to time. No point in getting frustrated about it. So after removing my foot from the hole in the wall, a message popped up saying I was disconnected. I relogged in and found that my character was still alive. So all's good.

But how often does this happen? Is it fairly common to be killed by a lag spike?
 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

I just delve in occasion to add a little spice to my more mundane chores

I hear that...

But I do, however, enjoy the occasional brew. I've recently went to drinking red wine to add a sense of sophistication to my stupor.

Me to!

Yeah, I read there's some trouble with playing with people online who can stab you in the back and you fall over dead. So I've decided to take the lone traveler road as for now considering it's hc and I've only gots one life to live.

You don't have to take that road if you don't want to dude, there are many fine communities (banana for US, gauss for EU) you can apply to be a member of so you don't have to play with the online nerdherd who, yes, will stab you in the back with a hack... :\

But how often does this happen? Is it fairly common to be killed by a lag spike?

It's touch-n-go man; it happens but not all the time...it's best to hit S&E or if it looks drastic Alt&F4 for the super plug-pull!

Good luck with it all!



 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

Never have I laughed so much from one person's first few posts. Good reads all of them.

I'd say your recent pleasant surprise is largely due to the build you've chosen. Summoners have so many meat shields surrounding them that they tend to be the most lag-resistant character. Another character build, depending on its stats at the time and the relative strength of the monsters, might not have been so lucky. Summoners bore the crap out of me, though. Something about letting minions do all the dirty work just turns me off.

I like to start with a Hammerdin as a nice balance between safety and killing speed. Runes are easy to come by once you hit Act 1 Nightmare, and the 'Spirit' runeword (attainable by that time) is a viable endgame weapon/shield combo. Redemption keeps your life and mana full as long as there are dead bodies about your feet. Salvation aura makes up for poor resistances. Holy Shield compensates for the huge amounts of dexterity other characters need to maintain 75% chance to block. And there are only a couple monsters in the entire game that are immune to Blessed Hammer.

Not to discredit the Summoner as a starter character... just a few thoughts in case you start to get bored with him.
 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

i d say trapper. with 1.13 respecs, go fire traps ( fastest normal game / nightmare game killer's ) then respec into lighting tree, and start killing all :D
 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

i d say trapper. with 1.13 respecs, go fire traps ( fastest normal game / nightmare game killer's ) then respec into lighting tree, and start killing all :D

I agree! my first HC toon was a trapper. looking forward to the scrolls so i can try the fire tree. Get an act 2 cold freeze merc and your set.


 
Re: Will You Embrace This Shell of a Man To HC?

I find the most fun in HC is to play untwinked and somewhat reckless like maiking a sacrifice pala :D
 
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