Re: The Noodle Compound
Over here it's just after midnight. My birthday has just started. I feel miserable.
A few hours ago, my two nice superiors took me out to dinner, as a birthday gift. The food was nice. It was not nice for me. As the evening went on, I gradually got sicker. Feverish. Rumbling in the tummy. I know what it means by now. They could see my misery, they felt sorry for me and told me not to feel bad, I did not ruin their evening at all. They know me, they know I always feel miserable for others too.
So I walked them back to the trainstation, and then cycled home. Had to rush too. Showered, which helped a bit. Lie on the sofa, helped a bit. I still feel nauseaus, sick, like I have to vomit. I still feel I'll be even more sick by tomorrow.
Nobody knows what's wrong with me. They all see my misery and know I am not faking it. They all see my despair, but what can they do if they can't find anything wrong? How do you go from there?
I've read somewhere that despite us being able to see pictures of Saturn, science has not yet determined all the bacteria that live in bowels and gut. I know the clue lies in there. I know there's something wonky in my bowels. If I were a computer I'd need a rebuild, a reinstall. I am not a computer. There are no answers. I wish there were. Since 10 minutes, I've been 35. Just 35. My life seems so bloody long knowing there's no cure.
I'm sorry to vent. I wish I wasn't alone right now. Equally, I do not wish to burden others anymore than I already do.
