pancakeman
New member
I'm very sorry to hear about your uncle, Thy. You've taken such care of him for so long, now that he has found rest I hope you will too.
Last edited:
OT: Days of our Lives aka the Beacon's Billboard
- Thread starter Rizzo
- Start date
pancakeman
New member
Things in the life of the crepeman are deteriorating as of late. Until very recently school was going great (I'm one semester from my MA), I was in a great relationship with a bright future, and I had planned out life until graduation in December. First the girlfriend called it off. It was a distance thing, and even though that distance isn't much as distances go, it's been over a year of it, so I can only blame her so much. I tried to go up as often as I could but this semester has been hard financially so I was only able to see her a few times in February and March. I think my car breaking down was the last straw. There were some signs that maybe it was a temporary lapse to be rekindled over the summer but I went and ruined that. It sucks, we never had a big fight, we never had any problems with fidelity or anything, we were perfect up until the end.
After it ended I couldn't focus on anything. I was consumed with memories, possibilities, fantasies of what could have been and what almost was. And regret. Lots of regret. I blamed myself for what happened and began identifying every time I could have been sweeter to her, every time she wanted me to stay and I couldn't or she wanted me to call her and I didn't. It wasn't healthy. I didn't eat for a very long time. I lost somewhere around six or seven pounds. I didn't sleep for days at a time. I could barely stay awake in class, and when I got home I either passed out at my desk or played video games to try to take my mind off her. I didn't read for class, I didn't grade the papers I was supposed to or write the papers I was assigned. I fell behind in everything. I've had perfect grades up until now, I fear I may not pass this semester.
Worse still, I fell into old, old habits that I thought I had finally tamed. It was one or two incidents, and I was able to limit the damage, but it scared me and made everything worse.
Perhaps worst of all, my plans for the summer were made back in February when we were still quite happy. We were going to get an apartment together over the summer, work hard and save money, and I would continue to live there and commute the hour or so to class every day in the fall. I had the apartment picked out, my job has been secured since before Valentine's Day, I was ready. And then this all happened with no warning. So now I have a good, well-paying job, but no place to live. The nearest friend I can room with for a while lives an hour away from the job, hour and a half if there's any traffic at all, and even when I get it back from the shop next week my car is still very sick. If it dies it is $3,000 to replace the transmission, and that's a death blow for me.
Two months ago I was happy. I was a great student, a loving boyfriend, a careful planner, a stable adult. Everything has fallen apart in so little time and I have been powerless to stop any of it. Instead of living with the girl I love and saving for a ring I'll be driving three hours a day and working ten hour shifts to afford a small apartment trapped in a super small town. And she's living and working in the same town all summer. It's not the sort of place where you can avoid anyone, either. I'm just tired. I'm tired of school, I'm tired of missing her, I'm tired of being uncertain and losing weight and the headaches and I'm physically tired.
After it ended I couldn't focus on anything. I was consumed with memories, possibilities, fantasies of what could have been and what almost was. And regret. Lots of regret. I blamed myself for what happened and began identifying every time I could have been sweeter to her, every time she wanted me to stay and I couldn't or she wanted me to call her and I didn't. It wasn't healthy. I didn't eat for a very long time. I lost somewhere around six or seven pounds. I didn't sleep for days at a time. I could barely stay awake in class, and when I got home I either passed out at my desk or played video games to try to take my mind off her. I didn't read for class, I didn't grade the papers I was supposed to or write the papers I was assigned. I fell behind in everything. I've had perfect grades up until now, I fear I may not pass this semester.
Worse still, I fell into old, old habits that I thought I had finally tamed. It was one or two incidents, and I was able to limit the damage, but it scared me and made everything worse.
Perhaps worst of all, my plans for the summer were made back in February when we were still quite happy. We were going to get an apartment together over the summer, work hard and save money, and I would continue to live there and commute the hour or so to class every day in the fall. I had the apartment picked out, my job has been secured since before Valentine's Day, I was ready. And then this all happened with no warning. So now I have a good, well-paying job, but no place to live. The nearest friend I can room with for a while lives an hour away from the job, hour and a half if there's any traffic at all, and even when I get it back from the shop next week my car is still very sick. If it dies it is $3,000 to replace the transmission, and that's a death blow for me.
Two months ago I was happy. I was a great student, a loving boyfriend, a careful planner, a stable adult. Everything has fallen apart in so little time and I have been powerless to stop any of it. Instead of living with the girl I love and saving for a ring I'll be driving three hours a day and working ten hour shifts to afford a small apartment trapped in a super small town. And she's living and working in the same town all summer. It's not the sort of place where you can avoid anyone, either. I'm just tired. I'm tired of school, I'm tired of missing her, I'm tired of being uncertain and losing weight and the headaches and I'm physically tired.
djmbbandie
Well-known member
Pancake： It will get better, three months ago I thought I would be staying at a meat wholesaler accounts payable job forever. Now I'm with the government in a similar position. It will get better.
As for me. The person that thought he would be forever alone, Is no longer single. I
m now in a long distance relationship with a girl currently in China. I plan to visit and possibly bring her over once my job quiets down and I find a better place to live.
As for me. The person that thought he would be forever alone, Is no longer single. I
m now in a long distance relationship with a girl currently in China. I plan to visit and possibly bring her over once my job quiets down and I find a better place to live.
Kestegs
Active member
Sorry to hear that you've had so much trouble lately. Don't really have much to say, but I'm glad you shared with us. Make sure you talk about stuff before it gets too bad. It's good to talk to friends and family, but we're always here as well if you want something a bit more anonymous.
DJ: glad to here you've found someone! How did you meet?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
DJ: glad to here you've found someone! How did you meet?
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
djmbbandie
Well-known member
through an aunt. She thinks I'm cute. I think she's the best girl I've laid eyes on that likes me. Every single night and twice on weekends I QQ her (QQ is the chinese version of Skype),
I'm feel for you pcm, I really do. Long distance relationships are hard enough but combine it with school and .. yeah.
She maybe feeling the same way you are. Let the dust settle, a clearer head and maybe you could approach her with a plan of how to make things better. In honesty your school is your future and that has to come first and I'm sure when she's not so upset, she'll realize that.
You've come so far mate, I don't doubt you'll be able to come through this and get to where you want to be with work, life and love. You've always been mature beyond your years and being able to notice little slips and correct them means that you haven't changed in that outlook.
Is there a room you can rent nearer your job; offset the fuel costs (or even bike/walk so you don't have to worry about the car)?
You can do this. You will do this.
She maybe feeling the same way you are. Let the dust settle, a clearer head and maybe you could approach her with a plan of how to make things better. In honesty your school is your future and that has to come first and I'm sure when she's not so upset, she'll realize that.
You've come so far mate, I don't doubt you'll be able to come through this and get to where you want to be with work, life and love. You've always been mature beyond your years and being able to notice little slips and correct them means that you haven't changed in that outlook.
Is there a room you can rent nearer your job; offset the fuel costs (or even bike/walk so you don't have to worry about the car)?
You can do this. You will do this.
As far as car issues and relationships are going - I don't have car (nor I don't plan to buy one and I won't do a driver licence) and I never have been in a relationship.
Personally, I'm worried about my PhD thesis (I'm going to library for some books, time to seriously start thinking about it) and my lost pendrive (I might probably left it at work, it contained my unfinished article that needs finishing and publishing). Should also ask about my other articles if they have been finally reviewed.
Good luck anyone !
Personally, I'm worried about my PhD thesis (I'm going to library for some books, time to seriously start thinking about it) and my lost pendrive (I might probably left it at work, it contained my unfinished article that needs finishing and publishing). Should also ask about my other articles if they have been finally reviewed.
Good luck anyone !
As far as car issues and relationships are going - I don't have car (nor I don't plan to buy one and I won't do a driver licence) and I never have been in a relationship.
Personally, I'm worried about my PhD thesis (I'm going to library for some books, time to seriously start thinking about it) and my lost pendrive (I might probably left it at work, it contained my unfinished article that needs finishing and publishing). Should also ask about my other articles if they have been finally reviewed.
Good luck anyone !
I don't think that you are missing out on much to be honest. Something to experience before your bones go to dust, but personally I find that I am always happier single, apart from the first 2-3 months which in the UK we called the 'honeymoon period'.
Also, I feel you on the articles. I've had a kit review waiting for two weeks and a race review from a race last weekend still waiting too. All competing magazines have published their reviews
Also, I feel you on the articles. I've had a kit review waiting for two weeks and a race review from a race last weekend still waiting too. All competing magazines have published their reviews
Thanks
I've written about 4-5 articles so far (of which only one is published) + I have been in the mood for quite a few music reviews on my blog this month (most notable: SBB's new live album and my birthsday one). I doubt if I would write that much again and last year was a "reviewer's diarrhea" - I even had written 4 reviews in 24 hours ! All in Polish (except one written in English and about 20 translations).You can only be in a relationship if you also enjoy being single. That's the way it works. If you look for another half, it means you're only half a person to start out with and the only surprise there is that you don't constantly fall over.
As for getting articles published - I'd not know a lot about that but I have heard it takes ages. However, be glad youré allowed to study and get a PhD - I can't even tell you what those letters mean. I'm largely selftaught with the exception of a few courses and one thing I've learned is that being good at your job, being responsible and working hard is getting you nowhere - they want the paperwork. They rather hire a lazy git with no experience, sense of responsibility or any sign of ever growing up than someone who will just do the job. Life is weird and unfair, and then it rains.
As for getting articles published - I'd not know a lot about that but I have heard it takes ages. However, be glad youré allowed to study and get a PhD - I can't even tell you what those letters mean. I'm largely selftaught with the exception of a few courses and one thing I've learned is that being good at your job, being responsible and working hard is getting you nowhere - they want the paperwork. They rather hire a lazy git with no experience, sense of responsibility or any sign of ever growing up than someone who will just do the job. Life is weird and unfair, and then it rains.
Yes, it takes a lot of time, all that reviewing process and acceptances. PhD means a doctorate. Actually PhD means Philosophy Doctor but it's also a more general term. I'm doing a really academical studies - I could be an university lecturer after them. Usually, PhD means a lot. It means that you have done something important to science.
I got my initial test results today. I have to get a 3 hour test next week because of my sugar levels and then extended tests in August and September because my cell counts are way out. No training, except for gentle exercise, until after the September tests, depending on the results. NOT GOOD!
I decided to look into my heart rate a bit today because it has been feeling high. So, I washed my car and recorded the heart rate... I have a resting heart rate of 39 and am, without being arrogant, at a very high fitness level.
Average heart rate during car washing; 79
Maximum heart rate during car washing; 88
Ah feck. Check my resting heart rate in the morning :/
Average heart rate during car washing; 79
Maximum heart rate during car washing; 88
Ah feck. Check my resting heart rate in the morning :/
Pretty good day so far. Next week is my last week at my current company. I'm really excited to move on into a higher paying position. I've accepted a position with the City of Kansas City as an investigator. I'll be doing undercover operations within regulated industries and working with law enforcement to catch individuals working without permits, selling alcohol/tobacco to minors, over serving alcohol, selling without licenses, etc. Pretty excited.
Aside from that I purchased seven iPod Classic's from my friends throughout facebook. I'm replacing the batteries, back covers, and putting in ssd's. Big market for these. I'll probably keep two for myself and sell the rest. I've done this with 3 iPod Classic's previously and sold each one for about $400 with about a $60 investment in each one.
Kansas City has a huge market for these which isn't all that surprising.
My Raspberry Pi came in the mail. I'm in the market for a 3D printed gameboy cover. I'll be turning it into an old school gameboy. Once that project is done, I'll be doing the same for a super nintendo. Then, maybe I'll look into making a custom system for NES/SNES/Sega Genesis. Also on my projects list is two nightstands made out of butcher block to match my butcher block desk I built earlier this Summer. I've also been toying with the idea of a homemade alarm system. Something to go on my windows and door to my bedroom that will send me a text message if they're opened. I saw someone had tried to pry open my screen to my window. With as much money as I have in firearms and electronics I'd feel much better with having a system like that in place.
Next Summer I'm going to build a butcher block dinner table.
PROJECTS KEEP THE MIND YOUNG!
Aside from that I purchased seven iPod Classic's from my friends throughout facebook. I'm replacing the batteries, back covers, and putting in ssd's. Big market for these. I'll probably keep two for myself and sell the rest. I've done this with 3 iPod Classic's previously and sold each one for about $400 with about a $60 investment in each one.
Kansas City has a huge market for these which isn't all that surprising.
My Raspberry Pi came in the mail. I'm in the market for a 3D printed gameboy cover. I'll be turning it into an old school gameboy. Once that project is done, I'll be doing the same for a super nintendo. Then, maybe I'll look into making a custom system for NES/SNES/Sega Genesis. Also on my projects list is two nightstands made out of butcher block to match my butcher block desk I built earlier this Summer. I've also been toying with the idea of a homemade alarm system. Something to go on my windows and door to my bedroom that will send me a text message if they're opened. I saw someone had tried to pry open my screen to my window. With as much money as I have in firearms and electronics I'd feel much better with having a system like that in place.
Next Summer I'm going to build a butcher block dinner table.
PROJECTS KEEP THE MIND YOUNG!
