- Mar 19, 2020
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Originally started by Insane Wayne on June 7, 2008. This is a compilation of the Diary of Black Hack; an unfortunate monster who just can't seem to catch a break. His trials and tribulations span tournaments, years, and even posters. Keep a look out for him next time you're out there, and say hello.
Excerpts from the diary of Black Hack:
April 16 -- Ah, it's great to be a Brute! I am pretty much the boss around here. That's right, bow down to Black Hack, you puny Fallen. This week is easy, I'm patrolling "the Hole". Free advice to all you fragile critters out there: stay out of my way or I'll squash you like a grape...
There is word of a new and powerful adventurer passing through. Let him pass, I'm not scared. No one ever comes down here.
April 18 -- Crap. I am in limbo, awaiting reincarnation. That hero showed up after all. I remember hearing a commotion, and leading my minions to investigate. A filthy necro, with nothing but a weak clay golem and a pathetic skeleton warrior! They could barely scratch me! I thought it would be easy.
Then I saw some new glowing skeletons, lurking behind the necro. They threw some spells at me! They must be mages! Wow, they really do exist! Their spells stung a little, but I could handle the pain. Suddenly I was Cursed, and I felt a sharp blow. A rogue archer allied wih the necro! This was not good, plus I was trapped on the stupid stairs... Sigh... I am going to miss being a brute.
April 24 -- Reassignment! My 6 days in Limbo are over! I am a slinger now, guarding the Rocky Waste along the gates of Lut Gholein. This place is hotter than Hell, and lacks ambience, but at least I have a nice Holy Freeze aura to keep me cool. The sabre cat babes really dig my aura. Plus, I'm in the realm of "Nightmare", and have been granted a second ability: Extra Strong.
Hopefully I'll never see that necro again. I seriously doubt he can get past Andariel. But if he does, I'll keep an eye out, waiting to take his head off with my javelins.
May 4 -- I don't believe it, he got me again! The minute he poked his head out the gate, I was on top of him. He looked like a such a dork, with his ugly yellow armors and goofy yellow horned hat. I couldn't wait to dance on his corpse! But first I had to fight off some new creature: a clay golem, except on fire! What kind of necro pet was this? No matter, we were close to killing it. The next thing I know, I'm in limbo again. I remember seeing a desert warrior. He poked me a couple times, and that was it! What gives? I've killed a dozen of Greiz's men, their corpses are everywhere! What made this guy so special?! Sigh... no more all-night poker parties with Creeping Feature.
May 10 -- Yuck, I am a zombie, and I really stink. I'm hanging out in the Cave because the sun is really hard on my skin (what's left of it). I have crippling arthritis, a craving for brains, and the speed of a snail. Yes, I may look weak, but woe to anyone who underestimates me! I can knock them out cold with one swat of my rotting arms! I am a Hell monster, magically enhanced, and immune to physical and lightning. Plus I benefit form my neighbor's Fanaticism. We make a great team.
May 18 -- This sucks! The hero's minions humiliated me yet again! He came in looking much different. Hardened, darker, determined, and focused. His mages had grown in number and power. The Burning Golem hit harder. What good was my Stone Skin against this? My lightning immunity protected me from some of his party, but there were too many fire and cold attacks, plus poison to stop my healing. I succumbed to a machine gun barrage of missiles. Where is Coldcrow when you need her? Probably doing her nails...
May 24 -- Demoted! To a lowly rat! Can my life get any worse?!
Well, at least my lightning-enchanted triple quill shot is kinda cool, and with Blessed Aim, I hardly miss.
June 5 -- You-know-who came around today, materializing out of thin air inside the Cloister. "I need to summon a new army", he declared, "You will provide the corpses. Thank you for your cooperation."
The nerve of that guy! I sensed this was my chance for revenge, before he could raise those deadly mages. We fired our needles, seriously damaging the mighty Golem. Yes, there is hope!
His lightning mercenary began firing at us. Thankfully my resistance was high. Then I felt a strange tingling curse take effect, and suddenly the mercenary's attacks were far more painful. My minions fell, and all eyes turned on me. My last sight was his smiling face, gleefully raising mages from the remains of my comrades. Sigh... another 6 days in limbo. Perhaps if I'm lucky, I will come back as a CEFE Conviction Gloam...
end excerpt.
Excerpts from the diary of Black Hack:
April 16 -- Ah, it's great to be a Brute! I am pretty much the boss around here. That's right, bow down to Black Hack, you puny Fallen. This week is easy, I'm patrolling "the Hole". Free advice to all you fragile critters out there: stay out of my way or I'll squash you like a grape...
There is word of a new and powerful adventurer passing through. Let him pass, I'm not scared. No one ever comes down here.
April 18 -- Crap. I am in limbo, awaiting reincarnation. That hero showed up after all. I remember hearing a commotion, and leading my minions to investigate. A filthy necro, with nothing but a weak clay golem and a pathetic skeleton warrior! They could barely scratch me! I thought it would be easy.
Then I saw some new glowing skeletons, lurking behind the necro. They threw some spells at me! They must be mages! Wow, they really do exist! Their spells stung a little, but I could handle the pain. Suddenly I was Cursed, and I felt a sharp blow. A rogue archer allied wih the necro! This was not good, plus I was trapped on the stupid stairs... Sigh... I am going to miss being a brute.
April 24 -- Reassignment! My 6 days in Limbo are over! I am a slinger now, guarding the Rocky Waste along the gates of Lut Gholein. This place is hotter than Hell, and lacks ambience, but at least I have a nice Holy Freeze aura to keep me cool. The sabre cat babes really dig my aura. Plus, I'm in the realm of "Nightmare", and have been granted a second ability: Extra Strong.
Hopefully I'll never see that necro again. I seriously doubt he can get past Andariel. But if he does, I'll keep an eye out, waiting to take his head off with my javelins.
May 4 -- I don't believe it, he got me again! The minute he poked his head out the gate, I was on top of him. He looked like a such a dork, with his ugly yellow armors and goofy yellow horned hat. I couldn't wait to dance on his corpse! But first I had to fight off some new creature: a clay golem, except on fire! What kind of necro pet was this? No matter, we were close to killing it. The next thing I know, I'm in limbo again. I remember seeing a desert warrior. He poked me a couple times, and that was it! What gives? I've killed a dozen of Greiz's men, their corpses are everywhere! What made this guy so special?! Sigh... no more all-night poker parties with Creeping Feature.
May 10 -- Yuck, I am a zombie, and I really stink. I'm hanging out in the Cave because the sun is really hard on my skin (what's left of it). I have crippling arthritis, a craving for brains, and the speed of a snail. Yes, I may look weak, but woe to anyone who underestimates me! I can knock them out cold with one swat of my rotting arms! I am a Hell monster, magically enhanced, and immune to physical and lightning. Plus I benefit form my neighbor's Fanaticism. We make a great team.
May 18 -- This sucks! The hero's minions humiliated me yet again! He came in looking much different. Hardened, darker, determined, and focused. His mages had grown in number and power. The Burning Golem hit harder. What good was my Stone Skin against this? My lightning immunity protected me from some of his party, but there were too many fire and cold attacks, plus poison to stop my healing. I succumbed to a machine gun barrage of missiles. Where is Coldcrow when you need her? Probably doing her nails...
May 24 -- Demoted! To a lowly rat! Can my life get any worse?!
Well, at least my lightning-enchanted triple quill shot is kinda cool, and with Blessed Aim, I hardly miss.
June 5 -- You-know-who came around today, materializing out of thin air inside the Cloister. "I need to summon a new army", he declared, "You will provide the corpses. Thank you for your cooperation."
The nerve of that guy! I sensed this was my chance for revenge, before he could raise those deadly mages. We fired our needles, seriously damaging the mighty Golem. Yes, there is hope!
His lightning mercenary began firing at us. Thankfully my resistance was high. Then I felt a strange tingling curse take effect, and suddenly the mercenary's attacks were far more painful. My minions fell, and all eyes turned on me. My last sight was his smiling face, gleefully raising mages from the remains of my comrades. Sigh... another 6 days in limbo. Perhaps if I'm lucky, I will come back as a CEFE Conviction Gloam...
end excerpt.