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Etdlahq Memorial Bar - your shelter from forum crashes continued
- Thread starter Grux
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Nope, and not good. Probably worse. (I have still not posted the worst part of it.)
I enjoy going off anti-depressants, because one side effect is that if I don't take them, I get the most vivid, and realistic nightmares, including semi-conscious hallucinations. The last one was that I had two dogs sleeping beside me in real life, and spirit-objects/shadow entities were floating around the room. I was conscious enough to know it was a dream/side-effect, and that if there was any 'danger', the dogs would be alert and spooked, but even with that amount of rational consciousness, the paranoia, fear and extremities gets stronger and stronger, escalating to the point where I'm trying to shake myself awake, knowing it's a dream, but unable to do anything to get rid of it. I can't wake myself up, even knowing that that is the only way to make it disappear, and that is the best part of my life, feeling this indescribable fear.
I enjoy going off anti-depressants, because one side effect is that if I don't take them, I get the most vivid, and realistic nightmares, including semi-conscious hallucinations. The last one was that I had two dogs sleeping beside me in real life, and spirit-objects/shadow entities were floating around the room. I was conscious enough to know it was a dream/side-effect, and that if there was any 'danger', the dogs would be alert and spooked, but even with that amount of rational consciousness, the paranoia, fear and extremities gets stronger and stronger, escalating to the point where I'm trying to shake myself awake, knowing it's a dream, but unable to do anything to get rid of it. I can't wake myself up, even knowing that that is the only way to make it disappear, and that is the best part of my life, feeling this indescribable fear.
It's been...well over 15 years since my last serious suicide attempt, with no real issues in the past few years. The road was always rough and I was always my own worst enemy. I went off medication less than a decade ago and have been doing quite well.
I really dislike giving personal advice based on my own subjective experience, so I will refrain and only say this. You know yourself better than anyone else knows you, so all I can hope is that you can make choices that will better yourself.
Hope you can enjoy a better tomorrow, especially with a new year coming around!
I remember spending my new year's eve 2002 (or was it 2001?) on dii.net forums. Fuzzy memories but ... T'was the time where I was worshipping VenomousVixen's sorc guide for doing my builds and I was the most happy teenager on Earth because Jarulf replied "lol" to one of my posts.
I'll stay a while indeed, waiting for D2 Remastered and sipping on my tea
I'll stay a while indeed, waiting for D2 Remastered and sipping on my tea
VenomousVixen, Jarulf... excellent name-drops, two thumbs, if I could.
I'm going to do something I very rarly do @J_A and buy you a drink on @maxicek's tab (he thinks he lost it in the move, so hush-hush on that bit).
*serves Gunpowder tea... which is quite amazing as I'm not sure if that is a brand, type, or literal... but I sincerely hope one of the former 2...)
I'm going to do something I very rarly do @J_A and buy you a drink on @maxicek's tab (he thinks he lost it in the move, so hush-hush on that bit).
*serves Gunpowder tea... which is quite amazing as I'm not sure if that is a brand, type, or literal... but I sincerely hope one of the former 2...)
I love yoga. I try to have the patience for it, sometimes you just want to do the pose and get on with it. Guess it says more about my stress level than yoga...
Can you really have a favourite? Then I would say extended child's pose or corpse...
@J_A Darjeelign is my favourite and I have played D2 extensively!
@queenEm Not the downwards facing dog?
@zemaj Gunpowder tea is called that because the leaves get rolled into tiny balls before being dried and it resembles gunpowder. If you put the leaves in hot water you can hear them crackling when they unfold if you are quiet.
@queenEm Not the downwards facing dog?
@zemaj Gunpowder tea is called that because the leaves get rolled into tiny balls before being dried and it resembles gunpowder. If you put the leaves in hot water you can hear them crackling when they unfold if you are quiet.
