Later on the Amazonian island Lycander
A comfortable spot on a mountainside facing south is decorated with illuminated undead stygian doll skulls, advanced electric light and many other war trophies. Of specific interest are a number of skulls lying in one place that seem to have been crushed almost to powder by the decorator responsible for the light and lightning. The spectator almost gets a curious feeling that these particular skulls belonged to various monsters of all kinds that all took the name "Puke Wolf" as theirs but that is probably just imagination. What kind of lightning expert could be so angry about a simple name?
While the climate is hot the altitude and the aura of the chef responsible for the main course is cooling. One might wonder why a chef tasked with grilling meat impaled on long spears would run a freezing aura but there is probably some perfectly sensible explanation behind it all. It's not like he has shown any signs of incompetence or general stupidity before. Surely not.
Alternating between supplying fires, cooking things and pulling the braided hair of the closest other chef is another chef dressed all in red with a strangely obsessed way of viewing the flames. One would almost associate the glance with a tendency of pyromania if looking too long but it seems so unlikely that someone with such unreliable streaks of madness would ever be allowed to handle the fires or cooking.
Alternating between making cold drinks and stirring in a large cauldron with soup with a large spoon and fencing with the previously mentioned chef with the mentioned spoon is yet another chef. The goblet-makers of Lycander will surely have busy days fixing the vast amounts of their wares that are sure to be damaged if the fencing feud gets too close to the drinks. Drinks are served by two valkyries serving all guests, suitably dressed in wide aprons over their polished golden armour.
Next to the great cauldron stands a more sensible chef busy with fish dishes of various kinds, shaking his head at the immature and silly taunting between the two others like someone all too used to it. He is dressed all in blue and slicing fish with a curved rapier.
The guests are an odd collection. Multitudes of various peoples seem to have gathered at the spot, ranging from old fossils in grey robes to tiny youngsters in brown swimsuits. The guests dine and drink at their own pace and marvel at the advanced lightning and occasional fireworks when one of the chefs takes a break from cooking to do some relaxing archery. Blue, white and red arrows soar into the sky.
Even later on the Amazonian island Lycander
A mysterious guest drinking rum even if his name would suggest a taste for malt whiskey is conversing with the hosts and hostesses of the feast. All sit comfortably leaning against the hillside on pillows doubtlessly being some form of spoils of war.
- Have you any thoughts about what you are going to do now that the long misadventures are at an end?
- Of course! I am going to...
- After partying for two and a half eternities, I mean.
- Oh, right. Snövit and I have actually been thinking of pursuing a maritime career. The sea close to the Amazonian Islands has never been really safe and we thought we could use Meshif's ship and hire his crew to, sort of, sail around and see if someone needs help at sea. It would be much nicer than running around murdering demons and undead all day.
- Like a kind of coast guard?
- Good name! The Amazonian Coast Guard. Meshif will be captain of the ship of course with his crew sailing it if they are interested to stay. Snövit is first mate in all senses of the word so she might as well be that formally as well...
- Hey! Rödluvan!
- ...and she and I can signal to other ships with our elemental arrows, scout using our penetrate (at day) and inner sight (at night and in bad weather) skills and also shoot ropes attached to arrows to people we need to pick up or ships we need to tow.
- Harpoons and tow cables...good if mechanical walkers from invading retaliating empires should attack too...
- Pah! Nothing can stand against our arrows! But, anyway, Telash can handle the lanterns and power electric lamps to scan the water for ships and shipwrecked sailors and to signal to other ships. Waheed could assist by attaching a hook to his spear to hook up boats, ropes, sailors and other things floating in the sea. Our valkyries will serve both as living lanterns and excellent life guards, probably being able to search inside burning ships for hours with their enormous amounts of hit points. If we make Lycanders harbour our home port, all crew members can take advantage of having scrolls of town portals which they can use to get home immediately should anyone fall overboard and get lost. Maybe we can also persuade Fara to come along to deal with both emergency repairs and medical care along with Jamella? She did actually promise to help me in some way and she seems to be on good terms with Meshif also.
- Sounds like a good plan. But I am surprised that you are not pursuing political careers as you have hinted earlier. Or perhaps mentioned rather than hinted. Not to say gone on and on about. Even...
- Blah blah blah! We get the point! Actually, things probably need to stabilize a bit after the demon invasion but the Rödluvan and I have as a matter of fact thought about forming a coalition government! We'll take a bit of the red communal and collective agenda and a bit of the blue capitalistic and individual one and mix it.
- That could work well...or be a total disaster. But I think you wouldn't be too bad as politicians...at least the debates would be entertaining and there would not be much chance of decisions being taken behind closed doors and hidden from the public...
- OH NO YOU DON'T! YOU CENTRALISING GITS! ABANDONING THE CORE PRINCIPLES AND IDEOLOGIES OF THE RESPECTIVE PARTY! OUTRAGEOUS!
- What on Earth...
- Not what. Worse. Who.
- Do you know that voice?
- Yes. It is...
- YES IT IS ME! LEFT HOME TO CLEAN ALL THE HOUSE WITH ONLY THE MICE TO HELP ME WHILE YOU LEFT TO HUNT MONSTERS!
- But you didn't want to go! You acted like a green punk with...hihihihihihahaha!
- What's the matter, Red?
"Rödluvan lazily raises her mighty crossbow with one hand"
- I know what you're thinking; did she have two hundred or two hundred and fifty bolts in her quiver? Well, considering that this is an upgraded and socketed Langer Briser you better ask yourself if you're feeling lucky. Do you feel lucky, punk? Do you?
- "Facepalm" (Maltatai. Snövit, Telash, Waheed, Meshif, Jamella)
- Sorry, I couldn't resist!
- That joke is not even logical! You can shoot magical arrows! You have infinite bolts! Uuuuuuh! Now, who is this new Amazon that you know?
- Maltatai, meet Askungen (Swedish for Cinderella). Askungen, meet Maltatai the storyteller.
- Good evening and greetings. How do you know Snövit and Rödluvan?
- Those two besotted traitors left me in our house and went out to hunt monsters and Prime Evils themselves! Abandoning me just like they have abandoned their ideological roots and strayed out of touch with the people they are supposed to represent and the environment that has been left out of their policies! But now the green grassroots will rise and...
- That's not true! We forced Tyrael to ressurect every mouse, bat, scorpion, snake, spider and other creature accidently stepped on during the whole campaign! We have not abandoned the environment!
- And also it was you who told us to get stuffed when we didn't want to have all your tedious and unwieldy procedures all the time!
- HA! LAME EXCUSES! THE STATE AND THE CAPITAL IS FORMING AN UNHOLY ALLIANCE AND WILL SOON SIT IN THE SAME BOAT AS WELL I UNDERSTAND!
- But not in that way! They are forming a life-saving coast guard, not...
- What do you mean, Maltatai? Have you got some idea of what she is ranting about?
- Well, since she is evidently green and (at times at least) a punk (but not the only one, I might add) and complaining about unholy alliances between the collective state side and the capitalistic market side I have a distinct feeling that Askungen might think it more effective to make her point in a more musical way.
- Totally right! And then I'm going to tell you how saving the world is supposed to be done, with due respect for due democratic procedure, environment and grassroots organisations!
Snövit höjer hyrorna
Och Rödluvan bostadsbidragen
Så kan man fiffla en smula
Med den järnhårda hemarbetslagen
Och till och med betala mindre i lön
Än priset för mat och för hyra
För båda skjuter mycket hellre på
Demoner så andra får
städa för fyra
Sida vid sida, tillsammans hjälps de åt
Rödluvan och Snövit sitter i samma båt
Fast det är inte de som gnor, som gnor så att svetten lackar
För bågarna som viner tystnar inte förrän
Deras yxor hackar
Karaktärers liv och leverne
Berättas av lövet och kotten
Om knektarna ska täcka bra
Får man inte slarva med skotten
Knockback, slowing och eld och is
Är ett system för att hålla
Monstrena från egna led och göra all skada var
Båge kan vålla
Sida vid sida, tillsammans irrar de fram
Rödluvan och Snövit, vars hjärnor är fyllda med damm
Fast det är inte som de tror, som tror hela världen tackar
För NPC:er bryr sig faktiskt inte om
Deras blonda nackar
Sida vid sida, tillsammans hjälps de åt
Rödluvan och Snövit, som styvsystrar i samma båt
Men det är inte de som styr, men de gnyr så att svetten lackar
För de har tråkigt ända tills Meshif
Snövits glöd beaktar
Tempot höjs vid frontlinjen
Här drillar man eliten
Berättelsen har inte plats för den
Som blivit illa sliten
Men för att ingen ska tro att det är nåt fel
Med händelserna i boken
Betraktas de som ett avslutat
Kapitel av den berättande token
Sida vid sida, tillsammans i sus och dus
Staten och Kapitalet, medan JAG fick städa vårt hus
Men det är inte de som gror, som gror så att jorden svackar
För gräsrötterna reser sig och rätar upp
Sina böjda nackar
Askungen kommer... aaah aaah aaaah!
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